Second chance at love
by Shelly Webster
Summary: Love lost and found
1. Chapter 1

On the night of the twins' sixteenth birthday Penelope Park died. She gave her life in exchange for Josie's and to save her from the possible merge. At that time Josie was already dating Hope and she and Penelope pretended very well that they were not having feelings for one another. None of the girls actually had an idea how much the other suffered for them and craved them. Josie escaped in relationship with Hope and Penelope in death. She felt like her life has no use anymore so she offered her life in exchange for Josie's. She knew that Josie would let Lizzie win the merge and this way she didn't have to watch the girl she loves die...or just be informed of it through MG or some other friend they might share at that point of their lives. Josie found her body in the woods. She felt something in her stomach and she simply had to run to the woods. Like she was drawn there and her life depended on it. She saw a man with a big black hood with Penelope. He took her hand and after that she saw Penelope just fall on the ground. Josie picked her up and tried to wake her up.

''Penelope, please wake up! Please… What have you done?''

She screamed and shouted so loud that it didn't take long for her dad and the rest of the guests to come to find her. First on the scene were vampires and Hope. She flinched when she saw Josie covered in dirt holding Penelope.

''She is dead… Some man… She is dead.''

Rick and Dorian got the kids back to the school but they couldn't move Josie from the body.

''Honey, we have to take her back to the school and prepare her funeral.''

Dorian came to Josie.

''Do you know if she had some family?''

''No… She had no one...''

''Then we can bury her on the school grounds in the morning.''

''No! She hates dark… She is afraid of it. She gets restless…''

Rick petted his daughter on her hair.

''Baby, she wouldn't know it's dark.''

''But I know dad… I know…I can't let her be in the dark…She…No…''

''Baby, we have to take her away from here.''

He bended to lift her body, but Josie just pulled her closer.

''No…I can't let go of her yet.''

MG came to her and took a seat on the ground.

''Can I take her inside? I promise to take her where you say you want her.''

Dorian suggested library and MG just nodded.

''Please Josie… Let's get her inside… It's dark here too…''

MG took her body and Jose walked behind him watching him like hawk. Lizzie stood on the sides completely shocked by what happened and how bad Josie took it. She really believed that her sister was over her, that she had no feelings for Penelope Park and now she saw her sister turn into something she never expected. They took her to the library and placed her at one of the tables. Josie fixed her dress and hair. Penelope loved that dark purple dress. They bought it together for their big date for one of the school dances. It was the first time they went somewhere as a couple. Her dad and Hope wanted to say something to her but Josie just looked through them.

''Can you please leave me alone with her?''

Rick understood how she felt. He lived the same thing with Joe. Hope was worried and not really into idea of leaving Josie unsupervised.

''Ok. If you need something…Please call.''

Josie spent the entire night there by Penelope's body not wanted to separate herself from the girl. Time went by too fast for her. Maybe she couldn't have told her all the things she wanted in life, but now in death Josie told her that she loved her and that tomorrow the part of her will be buried in that grave. She took out of her secret pocket in the dress locket she had with their pictures and placed it around Penelope's neck.

''I know how much you hate dark and small places. It's for you to always know I am with you. You have me Penelope Park, you had me at hello and that smirk of yours. I am by your side…forever… Tonight…when you kissed me before I went to the party, you asked me to be happy and live my life to the fullest…''

She smiled.

''My initial thought was that you have gone insane or something like that… Why would you do that and say that when you hate me? I was confused and… I hated you so much…For a moment you brought the butterflies back and I felt week at my knees when you looked at me.''

She touched Penelope's face.

''Damn those eyes! I was always melting into puddle when you look at me. I could lie to the world that I hate you and don't love you and then you would just look at me and… Puff… All my resentment was gone and all I could think of is how much I love those eyes… Especially in the mornings when I would wake up and see you looking at me with so much love. And now I will never see them again…Why did you have to die before I got to tell you how much I love you… You always had to have the last word…you stubborn, smug pain in the ass.''

Josie caressed her hair and took her hand. She was cold… She was so distant, beautiful and at the same time never closer to Josie. Now Josie could finally say what she has without getting some snarky comeback or comment that would hurt her. She also knew that nothing had ever hurt her more than Penelope's death.

''I love you…and I will always love you…Part of me died in that woods with you tonight.''

Now she was getting angry at Penelope.

'' You knew it's a dangerous place and you went there… You went there and you died! And I will never have you back again! It's not a game Penelope… You died! I can't follow anymore…If I follow I am gone too…''

She sat on the table by her and took her into her arms one more time. She still smelled of her favorite perfume and that stupid body lotion she used.

''Please open your eyes for me… You said once you would do anything for me…Now, I am asking you something… Please wake up so I can punch you and kiss you as you should be punched and kissed Penelope pain in the ass Park! Please baby….''

But nothing was happening. No matter how much Josie wanted the other girl to open her eyes, they still stayed closed and she was still dead. It was already morning. She knew her dad would be here soon to get the final preparations for the funeral. She had few more minutes with Penelope and she was clinging to the girl's body as her life depended on it. She wanted something of Penelope's to remember her by. Since she left her locket with Penelope, she took her favorite ring off her finger. It was white gold with one emerald. It was Penelope's grandmother's engagement ring. She loved it and wore it proudly. It reminded her of that woman she loved so much. After her grandma died Josie and Penelope grew closer and even started dating. Josie placed the ring on her finger and her dad opened the door.

''Honey, it's time… In an hour we will bury her.''

She fixed her hair, her dress and kissed the top of her nose just like she always did before they would go to sleep.

''Good night my love…''

Josie gave last look to the other girl and left the room. She went to her bedroom to change for the funeral. She found nice black dress and flats. Lizzie, Hope and Emma had no idea what to do. Josie was very quiet and she didn't really even try to tell them how she was. When MG entered the room she just run into his arms and fell apart. He held her tight and just let her cry. They cried together. Hope and Lizzie were a bit jealous why she could do that with him and not with any of them. Penelope's funeral was attended by many students and after they lowered the casket to the ground and everything was over, there was a lot of flowers on her grave and Josie was glad that many people were very sad for her death. Penelope Park marked many of their lives. She spent the rest of the day in Penelope's room. She just sat at her window seat and watched the garden. Irony of that all was that from Penelope's window you could see place where she was buried. Lizzie got her some food, but she didn't eat. Hope tried to talk to her to make her feel better but there was nothing they could do. Rick suggested they give her few days and that she will be better. MG was the last to come and visit her. She was sitting on the window seat looking at the garden. There were still some kids coming and putting flowers on her grave. Josie was now in one of Penelope's favorite pajamas and holding her bottle of perfume in her hands. She would smell it on occasion and let tears roll down her face. MG took a seat beside her and took her hand.

''I can't believe she is gone.''

''Me either. I am sort of waiting for her so show up and tell us that we got punked or something like that. Peez was a prankster.''

Josei smiled.

''That she was… You remember in grade nine when she did that spell in the bathroom and filled entire floor with bubbles?''

''I remember teachers slipping on it.''

''Yes, dad was very angry…''

''And she was grounded.''

''And also that time when she put something in Lizzie's food just because she annoyed you.''

''God, two of them…''

Walk down the memory lane helped them a bit. They laughed, they cried…but they somehow made one another feel better.

That night Josie slept in Penelope's bed. It still smelled of her…of rosemary and lavender and her favorite perfume. She had horrible nightmare that the person from the woods was carrying Penelope's body away and that all that is left from her is an empty casket and flowers all over the place. She jumped out of the bed and saw that the grave was opened. She went to her dad and woke him up.

''Josie what is it? It's three in the morning.''

''She is gone…''

Rick hugged his daughter and tried to calm her down.

''I know honey… It will be hard for some time but you will learn to live with the loss…''

''Dad, someone took her body.''

Now Rick understood what was going on. He woke hope up and they all went down to see what happened. Josie stood by the opened casket and only thing left behind was a deep purple silver and amethyst comb in shape of butterfly she had in her hair that night. Josie picked it up and put it in her pocket.

''Dad, who would have done something like that? Why would they take her body?''

''I have no idea honey… I really have no idea.''

Search for the Penelope's remains turned out nothing. In the morning they closed the casket returned it in the ground and hoped that they will solve the mystery of the missing body.

It took weeks Josie to start to function better. She had ups and downs but she somehow started living with that giant hole inside of her. Hope and Josie started working on their relationship. It was hard for Hope to compete with a dead girlfriend but she was patient. She believed that in the long run they would make it somehow. It was time for Penelope's room to be cleared out. Rick tried to postpone it for Josie, but they really needed the room. Josie didn't want anyone to touch it, she even offered to move there just to keep it as it was. Lizzie and Hope were shocked by her suggestion.

''Honey, you are rooming with Lizzie and we might need that room for some other students.''

Lizzie offered her help her clean up the room.

''No, I'll do it with MG.''

'"Why with him?''

''Because he loved her almost as I did…''

With hat she left their room and went to find him. He took it very hard but promised to be there and help. Josie and MG spent entire weekend cleaning up the room and Josie moved Penelope's things in a storage room in the basement. She kept everything… Her diaries, letters, pictures, clothes… she even stashed few uniforms in the far back of her closet…just for safekeeping. In the pocket of Penelope's cape she found a letter and dried rose from their first date. It was dated a day before Josie's birthday…so a day before she died.

 _My beloved, my tender blossom, my love,_

 _There are so many names I could call you and none of it would be close to describing what you are and what you mean to me. If you are reading this letter it means that everything went well…maybe well is not the word…as planed…that would be the proper way of saying it. As you know, I am dead… but you are alive and that's all that matters. You are alive and free of being potential victim of the family tradition of merging with your twin. Your mom and dad never told you about it and now I have to tell you. On your twenty second birthday you were supposed to battle Lizzie for your life. Whoever wins the merge kills their twin. I know you too well to know you would die for Lizzie. Since I died for you, I can't really judge and make fun of that sort of love and devotion to someone anymore. As I said…I died for you and for the chance that you might live, grow old and have amazing life with someone. I want you to live and love, and travel and make the world yours because you deserve it my love. I am sorry we didn't get the chance at that sort of happiness. I want you to get married, have kids, laugh, cry, experience everything there is to experience. Don't let my death be for nothing and don't do anything stupid my love… I am dying with ease at my heart. You were happy… One of my last memories would be of you smiling at the box of chocolates someone left for you. I am not sure if you really didn't know it was me or you faked it for the other people. Sometimes I really had no idea what you felt and how you felt, but I lived for the days we knew each other as the palm of our hands. So, I am dying happy my love. You found your happiness and serenity I couldn't give you. Take care and remember that I will always love you JoJo… Even when you are gray and old…and you start forgetting me, I will always remember and love you. Memory of you is the most beautiful thing I carry from this world and I am glad that I get to die with you in my heart, memories and hopefully ( I am not sure if I am brave to do it) your kiss on my lips. Good bye my love and thank you for loving me as you did…even though you stopped at some point…_

 _Forever yours,_

 _Penelope Rose Park_

She cried on the flood clutching the letter. She couldn't believe Penelope died for her. It was all her fault…And her parents'. She put the spell on the locker so nothing could get damaged or destroyed. She walked into his dad's office. He and Hope were preparing for some of their sparing sessions. Alaric knew she was clearing out the room and he expected her to come and cry to him. He was surprised to see her angry.

''Josie?''

She threw the letter on his desk.

''Care to explain this dad?''

He took the letter and read it. He just fell on his chair and held his head.

''What have I done?''

Hope looked between her girlfriend and Rick.

''What is going on?''

''Her death is on you and I will never forgive you in my life!''

''I had no idea she would ever find out…''

''That's not the point… The point is that…. I can't do it.''

She run out of the room and Hope picked the letter up from the desk and read it. She had to give it to Penelope. Dying for the one you love…even after you believed they hated you is a very brave move. She didn't blink before doing it. Hope remembered that the day before Penelope died she and Josie had one of their messy fights and Josie said many hurtful things to Penelope and the other girl didn't even flinch. She smiled at Josie and just left. She didn't even respond. Now she knew that huge guilt was eating out Josie and she had no idea what to do with this knowledge about the merge and Penelope actually dying for some cause. It was not _Penelope was careless and died in the woods moment_. It was _Penelope went into woods to meet someone who would kill her for Josie's life_. Hope got to Josie's room and she heard the other girl cry. She slowly opened the door and entered. She put Penelope's letter on Josie's nightstand and just took the crying girl into her arms. She held Josie for hours and said nothing. She was jealous of Penelope and how much Josie cared, but then she realized that the other one is dead. She and Josie have a chance to have good relationship as soon as her mourning period ends.

Lizzie was in shock when she found out about what Penelope did. She never expected that from her. She gave life for her sister to live and to prevent their merge, Lizzie found some new respect for the girl.

 **Six years later**

Hope and Josie were engaged to be married. Their wedding was in six months but as they were very busy and had to have everything under control, they already sent invitations, save the date cards and RSVP cards. Hope and Josie were still living at school, but this time Josie was a teacher and Hope was Rick's assistant. He was preparing her to take over the school when the time comes. Lizzie lived in LA and was married to some fancy lawyer and had a life she always dreamed of. Her wedding was in million magazines and huge social event. Hope and Josie wanted something much smaller and very simple. They agreed to be married on the school grounds and they had an idea for it to be in a rose garden. That was a nice place and it was place they spent a lot of time. Hope went for a meeting with Alaric and Josie was checking her email and the regular mail. It was day before her birthday and it was not a good time of the year for her. Every year at this time she would let her mind wonder more often to Penelope. Among the letters was a small box. She smiled because she believed it was some hidden gift Hope left for her. She opened the box and saw her locket…the one that she put around Penelope's neck. She opened the locket and found that their pictures were still inside. She looked at her smile and Penelope's smile and couldn't stop thinking of how much she missed her and how she still didn't recover from her death. In the box was a small handwritten note. It was written in Penelope's handwriting dated some seven years ago. Josie turned the note and found another one…

" _He knew her, he believed. He would teach her that she was not his possession, he would show her she was free, he would see her flash her wings."_

― _A.S. Byatt, Possession_

 _You can have her back…if she is really yours..._

 _Necromancer_


	2. Chapter 2

Josie run to her dad's office with the note and the locket. She just busted in and Hope and Rick were very worried.

''What happened?''

''Hope, can you give us a minute?''

She left the room but the hurt in her eyes was evident. Josie was hiding something from her. And it was not some positive surprise.

She gave her dad the note and the locket.

''I don't understand.''

''Penelope… He has her…''

Rick couldn't believe what was happening.

''Necromancer is back.''

''Yes, it looks like he is back…''

''What does he want?''

''I don't know… That is all I have.''

''How did you get it?''

''It was under the mail…in a jewelry box. I thought it was your early birthday present from Hope or some of you.''

''No, it wasn't.''

''Now I know.''

''How do you know this is really from her?''

''Its Penelope's handwriting and the locket… I put it on her for the funeral… I left her my locket and took her ring.''

She got out a long necklace that was around her neck where Penelope's ring was.

''Are you sure there is nothing more from him?''

''I am not… I just came here.''

Rick suggested they go to her and Hope's place and search it for some more clues. When they got in Hope was sitting at the table going through some more mail.

''Baby, this came for you. No return address.''

Josie grabbed the letter and opened it. It was Necromancer's handwriting.

''It's him…''

 _Ms. Saltzman,_

 _In case you don't believe I have your most praised possession come and see it yourself… Midnight at old Harington hotel. I will be waiting in the ballroom._

 _Necromancer_

 _P.S. You can bring your entourage if you don't trust me to meet alone_

Hope was confused. She had no idea what was going on. She saw something was upsetting Josie but she had no idea what and why that note leaved such an impression on Josie.

''What is happening? Why do you look so shocked and frightened?''

''Nothing Hope. Can you please leave me and my dad alone?''

Rick was not happy about what his daughter was doing. Hope deserved to know… Hope should be informed about this. Especially because Josei still had soft spot for the dead girl. If it was some trap or game, she should have someone level headed with her.

'You are making a mistake. You shouldn't shut her off.''

''Dad, this is my life and my choice. Respect it!''

''Josie…''

''No, dad… I know what I am doing. I have to see what is happening before I tell anyone anything.''

Rick dialed few more people to join them, including Caroline. Any supernatural help was useful, especially after he noticed how Josie was determined to go and see for herself if it is really true.

''What if it is some sort of trap or game?''

''I can't just forget about it and let go. I will always wonder if I could have done something.''

With that Josie went to bedroom and locked the door. Rick knew what he had to do and he also knew that it would hurt more than just his daughter. Rick found Hope in their office.

''We have to talk…and I am doing this and braking Josie's thrust.''

''What is going on?''

''Necromancer is back… He sent Josie message…He says he has Penelope and he is willing to give her back to her.''

Hope couldn't believe what she just heard.

''What?''

''Yes, they are meeting tonight.''

''Figures…It's Penelope's death anniversary.''

Hope was nervous about it. She didn't really have good feeling about this thing and she had no idea what to think. She was very familiar with death…Death and Hope went hand in hand, but she never really thought that Josie would me marked by it in this way. Necromancer wanted something…and she had no idea what. He never gave anything without asking something in return.

''But she could die too.''

''I know. Maybe you can try and reason with her.''

Hope gave him very sarcastic laughter.

''Reason? Reason with Josie when it comes to PP related subject? Where have you been living for past six years? That is impossible. Josie is deaf and blind when it comes to Penelope and related subjects. Especially around the death anniversary. She knows that grave is empty, still she does all the gardening around it and every year she takes flowers to the place she found her dead. Do you know that she doesn't want to travel at this time…JUST so she could take the flowers and fix flowerbeds around the fake grave? She haven't celebrated her birthday since that day and she makes Lizzie feel bad for wanting to celebrate her birthday. So, what reason are we talking about?''

Hope stood by the window and watched the kids play outside.

''Sometimes I feel she is having an affair with me…and that she is the girlfriend.''

''I'm sorry Hope…''

''I signed up for that… I did it to myself…I guess that now I understand why you never dated or remarried after Joe.''

''I knew I couldn't love anyone like her…''

''Regrets?''

''None… BUT I had girls with me… I had them to be my excuse to forget about the love life. If I didn't have them, I guess that my friends would find someone to set me up with and I would make that person very unhappy.''

''She thinks I don't know…''

''About what?''

''Storage... She still keeps every single thing of Penelope's in there… And there are some of her things even in our closet… Pushed and hidden in the back where Josie thinks I never look.''

''Hope, she is my daughter and I love you as my child too… I have to ask, what are you doing then in a relationship with her?

''I hope for the better and for the day when I will be the one she loves.''

''Honey, even if she gets her back in a body bag….it will never happen… Don't waste your life playing second fiddle to a dead woman.''

''How do I leave Rick?''

''With a head high… Knowing that you did the best for yourself… Josie and you should have been friends… never more than that.''

''I guess you are right.''

Hope dreaded going back to their place. When she got in it was very quiet.

''Josie! Are you home?''

''In the bedroom… Be there in a moment.''

Josie got out and right away she noticed that Hope knows.

''He couldn't keep his mouth shut?!''

''He is worried… And he is right. It's not smart to go there. You can get hurt. And for what? For a body?''

''I can't do this… I can't deal with lecture from you too.''

''No, you will listen…''

''It's not just a body….It's Penelope's body…''

''Is it worth dying for?''

''I'm not sure you want to know my answer to that question…''

Josie didn't want to fight so she went to the bedroom and sat on the bed. Caroline came few hours later and Hope sent her to talk to Josie. She knocked at the door and Josie let her in.

''Hi mom.''

''Hey baby… How are you?''

''I don't know… Scared, confused, excited… A lot of feelings are mixed inside of me.''

''Are you sure you want to do it? I mean… You were sixteen… She has been dead and gone for six years Josie… Is it worth it ruining your relationship with Hope for something like that?''

She knew that question would come.

''Mom, you and Mark are happy?''

''Yes…''

'"What would you do if you got the note about Stefan or dad about Joe?''

''Probably follow the lead.''

''Then, all the questions are answered mom. I have to do this.''

''Ok, baby. We will go with you…''

As midnight was getting closer, the lever of tension was raising. Hope was not sure what to do. She wanted to go with them because at one point she and Penelope were…friendly and she wants to support Josie…But she couldn't fight this crazy jealousy inside of her.

At midnight Josie, Rick, Hope and Caroline were at the hotel. Josie opened the ballroom and entered. Before she could be followed she did a spell that no one can come after her. She turned to face the monster and her breath was caught with shock. In something like glass casket was Penelope's body. In front of it was Necromancer in the chair.

''I see you came Ms. Saltzman.''

''I had to make sure she is real.''

''Oh, she is…''

''What do I need to do to get her back?''

''It's simple Ms. Saltzman. You are a girl that lives for fairytales…. You know what is the thing that always wakes up the princess.?''

''Wakes up? But she is dead?''

''Not really… She is somewhere in between… hanging by the thread.''

''What do I have to do?''

''It's simple… You get to kiss her. If she is your true love and you are hers… She will wake up…If not… you get to bury her at that grave again and mourn the illusion… What do you say Miss Saltzman? Is she your true love? She died for you…. But we never got to learn how you felt all this time…''

''What is the catch?''

''She might not remember you…''

Josie felt like she would lose the balance… So even if they are each other's true love there is a chance for Penelope not to remember her? Are you willing to wake her up even knowing that she might never remember who you were to her?''

Tears rolled down her face.

''Yes… I am willing to do it even if she never remembers me…At least I would get a chance to see her… even from afar… And see her alive and being Penelope… I love her that much to give her back the life…no matter who she picks to spend it with''

''No one said that you can't fall in love again?''

''I can't fall in love again… I never fell out of it to begin with.''

Necromancer smirked at Josie…

''Than be my guest.''

With one move of his hand he removed the glass lid and there she was. Beautiful as always...her perfect skin, those lips Josie could kiss for hours… She looked the same as she did that morning before they put her in the ground. Josie bent and kissed the girl. She took a seat beside her and took her hand.

''Wake up honey… please wake up for me…''

Few moments later Necromancer was gone and Penelope's eyes flew open. She looked around and she had no idea where she was. She also had no idea who was that woman sitting beside her with tears in her eyes. She looked like she saw a ghost or something like that. But Penelope had to give it to her. She was really cute and beautiful.

''Where am I ? Who are you?''


	3. Chapter 3

In front of the door Caroline, Rick and Hope were trying to figure out how to enter the room and find out what is happening.

''I can't believe she locked us out?!''

Hope was not that surprised as Alaric was. She believed that Josie knew what she would do even before they left the school.

''How do we get in Hope?''

''I have no idea what spell she did. All we can do is wait Caroline.''

Inside two women were looking at one another. Penelope was surprised she was dressed like that and had no idea who was this person sitting across from her.

''Are you OK?''

Josie smiled.

''I should be asking you that…''

''I don't know how I am and what am I doing here?''

'"What do you remember?''

''Going to a party… Something at school.''

''Any people?''

''No, nothing…''

''Oh, ok then… I am Josie… Sorry, Miss Saltzman… I teach English literature and history of magic.''

''Do you remember your name and who you are?''

''I am Penelope Park… And I am a witch…''

And there it was… The smirk was back. Her heart was broken, but she could finally breathe again. Penelope was back… She was sitting in front of her. She used all of her will power to prevent herself from kissing her for all the years they spent apart. Josie wanted to touch her so badly but she knew it was not appropriate. Especially now when she said she is a teacher and she made Penelope believe she is her teacher.

''Good… let's get you back to the school and we will figure things out from there.''

She lifted the spell and when the door opened two of them were met with shocked trio outside. Hope and Alaric stared at Penelope in wonder.

''Penelope, this is Dr. Saltzman. He is the head master of the school and my dad. Beside him is my mom Caroline Forbs…''

Penelope looked at Josie and then at Caroline.

''Your mom? But she is so young?''

''She is also a vampire.''

''That explains a lot…''

Penelope looked at Hope.

''And that is Miss Michaelson… She is the person who is actually in charge of school because my dad is slacking.''

Penelope smiled at that.

''You shouldn't be saying things like that about your dad. You are trashing his reputation…''

''He doesn't need me for that. He is capable of doing it himself.''

''So, what do we do now?''

''We take you to the infirmary… You should be checked up.''

''What party did I go to when I lost all of my memories and woke up here?''

''Maybe the day when you could give us the answer would come…''

''Maybe…''

Jose notice that Penelope was cold… She took off her coat and gave it to the girl. She put it around it and inhaled…

''Mm… it smells like vanilla dipped donates… My favorite.''

''Let's go Penelope.''

Penelope had no idea that Josie actually had her perfume on. They took Penelope back to the school and took her to see Dr. Andrews. Out of all of them she took most liking to Josie. Hope gave her a weird vibe, like she was watching every step she made and how she interacted with Josie. Josie, Penelope and Caroline sat in the back and Rick was in the front with Hope. Hope watched Josie and Penelope in the mirror watching every detail about them. Penelope looked scared. She had no memory of her previous life and Josie looked heartbroken again. She knew that look. She remembered it pretty well from seven years ago. He did tests on her and discovered that she is back to what she was before that there is nothing ''wrong'' but her memory loss. He chose to keep her for a few days at observation and then to let her move back to the dorms. That left new problem, placing Penelope somewhere. Josie checked rooms and it turned out that her old room was available. Girl that lived there graduated and Penelope's old room was free again. Josie took the key and went there. Room smelled bad…not as she remembered it… She had two days to make this room Penelope's again. She locked the room and went to the genitor's closet. She picked up what she needed for cleaning and after that she went to change. She spent entire night cleaning the room and making it immaculate, just like Penelope kept it. Walls had to be painted, but she had no time to do that. She used magic to fix them and make them beige as they were. After that she went to storage and started bringing boxes up. She filled shelves with Penelope's books, figurines, some art books she had, old novels, her jewelry boxes…everything that was there before, but their pictures and things that could point out that they were together. She got her bedcover out of the box and her pillows. She changed the battery in her old alarm clock with little pandas and the room was ready… And it looked almost like she left it before her death… Last thing were her favorite vanilla scented candles and school uniforms Josie placed in the closet. She then checked the rest of Penelope's stuff and put back in her closet many of the things she owned. She was lucky her style was something that was still fashionable, some things more than ever.. She placed them at their old places and she felt like she was sixteen again waiting for Penelope to come back from some of her classes. She looked around the room and just waited for the other girl to come. Instead of Penelope walking into the room Hope did.

''Wow! You really made it like it was… Finally your Penelope Park shrine paid off.''

''Hope…''

''No, now I need you to listen to me… I think it's best we call off the wedding.''

Josie didn't expect Hope to end their relationship.

''Why?''

''Because I don't want to be consolation prize anymore… She is alive, she is back… And you will see her every day…''

''But she is a student.''

''And it doesn't change the way you feel about her.''

''Hope…''

''I'll move out tonight… I am pretty sure you have every intention to sleep there…''

She knew Hope referred to the hospital wing. She did want to spend the night there. Josie took off her ring and gave it back to Hope.

''I am sorry Hope…''

''I know…''

Hope was about to leave when she came back.

''Josie, never apologize for loving someone… You did that years ago…Don't make the same mistake again.''

With those words Hope left the room. Josie gave it one final look and locked it. She went to the infirmary and got to Penelope's room. Nurse told her that Penelope was asleep. She entered the hallway that led to Penelope's room when she hear a familiar scream. She got intot he room and saw it was dark. She turned the light on and sat on the bed. She hugged Penelope to calm her down.

''Shhhh… it's ok… it's ok….''

''It was dark… So dark…. I couldn't breathe…''

Josie caressed her face and tried to calm her.

''I know…I know…It will ne ok…We will fix it in a minute.''

Nurse came and she had no idea what happened.

''Get her a bed side lamp and never, never leave her without light during the night. She can't sleep in a complete dark. Am I clear?''

''Yes, Miss Saltzman.''

''Good…''

They got small lamp for Penelope and she felt much better and calm. She still held on to Josie scared and upset. Josie managed to get the girl to calm down and be better. She lowered Penelope on the pillow and fixed her covers.

''Sleep now… I will be here with you.''

Doctor came and gave Penelope something for sleep and girl fell asleep right away. Josie took her time just to watch her.. She knew there was no way for her to wake up so she was safe. She stroked her hair Kissed her hand and held it for most of the night.

''I can't believe you are back… I don't care you don't know who I am… I love you Penelope Park and I missed you like crazy. And now you are here… I can finally touch you and have you near…''

She started sobbing.

''I missed you so much P…So much… and now I feel like I can finally breathe and live… You are back my love and that's the only thing that matters… ''

She got up from the chair and kissed Penelope again. She had no idea if she would ever have a chance do to that again. In that bed was her Penelope…Her P…Her baby… Her friend, her lover, love of her life… who is still sixteen and probably the same person she was on the night she died. And that person had no idea who she was… For her Josie was a teacher who was worried about her. And that was braking Josie's heart. She was unknown to her P. She cried herself to sleep and still held on Penelope's hand.

As expected Penelope was the first to wake up. She was surprised to see Miss Saltzman asleep in the chair next to her bed. She didn't remember her or the school but she was pretty sure teaches were not usually attentive to their students as she was. But for some reason, her presence and the fact she held her hand didn't make her feel uncomfortable. It made her feel ok safe even. Josie woke up a bit later and she noticed Penelope looking at her.

''Good morning….''

''Good morning Miss Saltzman.''

''How are you feeling Penelope?''

''Better… Thank you for last night and staying here.''

'' You are welcome… I wanted to be sure you were ok.''

''Yes, I am.''

She smiled at Josie.

''Do you know when do I get to leave?''

''Maybe even today…''

''I hope so… I hate hospitals.''

Josie knew that already. Penelope's grandma died at the hospital and since then she has very stressful reaction to any hospital or infirmary. Doctor came to check her up and said she could go back to her regular activities. Both of them were relived.

''Will you take me back to my room?''

''Yes, I just have to get you something to change into. I will be back soon…''

''Good…''

Penelope smiled at her and Josie returned the smile and left the room. Penelope realized that she was developing a crush on Miss Saltzman and she found it quite interesting and fun… Hmm… Hot for teacher but real life edition… That thought really entertained her….especially since she noticed that Miss Saltzman was very nervous around her.


	4. Chapter 4

Josie got back to Penelope's room with change of clothes and she put the bag on the bottom of the bed.

''You have everything you need here and now I'll leave you to change. I'll be waiting outside to take you back to you room.''

''Thank you.''

Josie got out and Penelope got dressed very fast. She found it cute how Miss Saltzman really made and effort to get her to wear something that looked good, not just random things. She packed black tights and black tunic with flowers in different colors. She packed her black flats, some makeup, pins for the hair…She really thought about the bag she packed… What made Penelope really smirk was the fact that Miss Saltzman went thought her underwear drawer. When she got out of the room Josie had flashback to when she last saw her in that tunic. It was few days before Penelope ended things with her. They were on a very casual date and Penelope had it on. They went to the grill for some burgers and milkshakes and after that they went for a walk and a movie. It was nice, quiet, slow night but it ended pretty nicely…with two of them in bed making love and making planes for the future. At that point future looked like amazing place… Now, it was not sure what it would be.

''Miss Saltzman, are you ok?''

''Yes, why?''

''You look like you are about to cry.''

''I…. I'm not… Let's go Penelope…''

Josie walked her to the room and gave her the key.

''This is your room.''

Penelope opened the door and entered the room she had no memory of, but it felt somehow familiar… even the smell of vanilla. She saw four big candles all over the room and smiled.

''I see I love vanilla…''

Josie nodded from the door.

''Yes you do…''

''What else do I love?''

''Everything in this room…''

Penelope looked around and saw school books. Josie made sure to get her new books they used now and then she looked back at Josie.

''No offence Miss Saltzman…but I see school books here too… No one likes school.''

''You did like some things about it… Some subject…especially casting all sorts of forbidden spells.''

And there was Penelope's smirk again.

''Did I get in trouble?''

She looked proud of herself.

''No one figured out it was you?''

''But you did?''

''I did…''

Now she was curious about this.

''And you never reported me?''

''No...''

''Bad girl Miss Saltzman. Were you rebellious as a teen?''

''Not really, but my girlfriend was…''

''Principal's daughter and rebellious girl…? Sounds like Romeo and Juliet sort of story… No wonder you studied the literature… You are a sucked for doomed romances?''

Josie looked at Penelope with a weird mix of happiness and enormous sadness. She had no idea how right she was. Josie leaned on the door and responded under her breath hoping that Penelope is distracted to hear.

''You have no idea…''

But it was Penelope. She heard her. She took a seat at her window and petted the place beside her.

''Tell me…''

''Tell you what?''

''About the girl…''

''What girl?''

''The one you mentioned.''

''I don't think it's appropriate…''

''You picked out my panties today Miss Saltzman… We are way over appropriate now.''

She was right…in her Penelope kind of way… And there were things she had no idea they also did, but that was something that Josie didn't let herself think about. Penelope petted the spot again and Josie closed the room door and took off her coat. She put it over the bed and took a seat beside Penelope.

''Why do you want to know?''

''Because it sounds exciting…''

''It was not..''

Penelope gave her a look showing that she knew that Josie was not telling the truth.

''Ok, it was…But there were many things that were difficult. She and my twin… Oh, God! That was the war since the moment they met.''

''What is her name?''

''My twins?''

''No, the girl's?''

She smiled…

''Penelope…''

''Like me?''

''No, I am not giving you a name…''

''Oh, you just spoiled it.''

''Sorry…''

Josie couldn't really give too much about the ''girl''. Name would be one of those things.

''How did you meet?''

''She was thirteen when she came to this school… Me and my sister had to give her a tour and we sort of bonded oved being invisible and the new kid.''

''And how did the love part happen?''

Josie blushed…

''For me it was…pretty much after we met… And for her… I have no idea… I just know that one night I was really upset over fight with my sister and she found me crying in the kitchen. She would often sneak into kitchen to get some snacks… And let me tell you something…That girl had sinful body and could eat like elephant…''

''What was her secret? Sex?''

''Penelope?!''

Josie couldn't believe her. That girl lost her memories, but the essence of Penelope Park was there…

''She was a dancer….and a very athletic person…''

''Ok, so sex…''

''ANYWAYS, she asked me if I was ok and we get to talking and she really made me feel better. I told her that Lizzie teased me for never being kissed and that no one would ever kiss me and make it special for me. Lizzie's boyfriend at the time took her to the rose garden and kissed her there with some cupcakes he bought from some fancy place and I don't know what anymore.''

Penelope rolled her eyes.

''I hate those people…''

Josie just smiled. She had the same reaction she had that very night.

''It started raining….really raining…. She got me out to the rain and kissed me. She said it's not about the setting, but about who is kissing you and that our kiss in the rain is worth much more than everything Lizzie got that night from her date. She was my first kiss at the age of almost fifteen.''

''Smooth… Kissing in the rain… I like it.''

''Of course you would.''

''Hey, what does that mean?''

''Nothing…forget about it…''

''And then?''

''Oh, we started dating and it was a crazy period of my life… I had to balance mischievous girlfriend and insane sister.''

''Did she turn the good girl bad?''

''A little… We all have devilish side in us, but she definitely got mine out. When we were together, I was free… I was who I was supposed to be…''

''What went wrong?''

Josei asked herself that question many times.

''I have no idea… Everything and nothing…We broke up, but the feelings were there…and we did and said a lot of bad things to one another.''

Josie explained the dynamic after the brake up and how they did many things to hurt one another and then catch each other staring and doing things out of character for someone who doesn't love the other person.

''Why didn't you try to fix it? Said you loved her?''

''She died…Last time I told her I loved her, I held her body in my arms.''

Penelope shook her head.

''I don't like it… I don't like the ending you got!''

Josie felt her eyes were wet. She looked at Penelope and she was about to cry too… Josie was about to leave when Penelope stopped her. She took her hand and hugged her.

''I want to believe she heard you… She must have… We live this supernatural life and I want to believe it for you. If you believe she did know and she loved you too you will find it in you to be happy again. I think she would wish you to be happy… Are you happy Miss Saltzman?''

Josie held on to Penelope and whispered.

''I am now…''


	5. Chapter 5

Josie left Penelope's room and went back to her place. Hope was moving out last of her boxes and she was surprised to see that Josie was crying.

''Hey, what happened?''

''I was with Penelope… She got out of the hospital so I took her to the room and gave her the key and all. We got into talking and she asked some questions….and I sort of ended up telling her about us…''

''Us? As in me and you or you and her?''

''Me and her…''

 _No surprise there for Hope…_

''And it made you sad?''

''Yes, but what made me cry was the fact that she hugged me and said that she believes my ex knows I loved her and that she would want me to be happy…''

Hope had no idea what to say or do. She was in pain because she knew that Josie never got over Penelope's death and she was ready to wait for Josie…But now Penelope was back…she was still sixteen and had no idea about the history she and Josie had. And Josie is in pain because she has to watch Penelope every day and not be with her.

''Josie…''

Hope just held her and let her cry out what she had to cry.

''Your dad wants to have dinner here tonight… To celebrate your birthday…a day late…''

''Oh, god…''

''I didn't tell him. He and Caroline have no idea.''

''I don't think that birthday dinner is the time to talk about the brake up.''

''I agree...''

''I have no idea how to tell them. Dad was so happy about us getting married.''

''He was the one who told me to leave you and I didn't want to do it until I saw the room.''

''What? My dad?''

''Yes, he told me that I would always somehow be in the shadow of that what you felt or now we know still feel for Penelope. And that he never remarried because he knew he could never love anyone as Joe. And as much as I knew he was right, I didn't want to believe it…And then the room happened.''

''What does the room have to do with anything?''

''You have no idea where half of the things is in this place…And you knew every single detail about the room you redecorated. You put back everything where it was six years ago… Like every single thing…but the ones that would give away you were dating. That is the act of the person in love…and I didn't want to live a lie anymore.''

They took a seat on the sofa and Josei took her hand.

''I wanted to love you… I really did.

''I sense BUT in there…''

''But I couldn't love you the way you should be loved. Yes, our life and marriage might have been a good one, but… You deserve to have the love that consumes you Hope…I deserve to have that crazy rush… That moment when the same person can break you into small pieces and put you together with just one touch or word. You deserve to have it and I am sorry I was not that person. We are too young to settle.''

''I never asked… How did you get Penelope back?''

''I had to kiss her.''

''What?''

'' He said that since I love fairytales all I had to do was kiss her. True love kiss… If I wake her up, she comes with me if I don't she remains dead.''

''Wow!''

''Yes… But she has no memories…''

''But you woke her up…It means something.''

''Yes, it means that once again being in love with Penelope Park is a pain in the ass.''

''But you love that pain in the ass…''

''I am not sixteen anymore…''

''But she is.''

''Yes… Thank you for pointing that out!''

Alaric and Caroline came and brought the food. Hope let them in and Josie was in the bedroom changing for dinner. It was first time after many years she actually didn't feel unbearable pain in her chest over the idea of celebrating. She picked out mustard color dress and fixed her bun. She looked nice and she even made an effort to put some more makeup than usual. When she got out, Hope and Rick were setting the table and getting the food out of containers. Caroline hugged her daughter and smiled at her.

''Happy birthday baby…''

''Thank you mom…''

She gave her a present and Josie opened it right away. It was a picture form her 16th birthday. It was her black and white portrait. It took them forever to take it because Josie somehow looked serious and not very happy to take those pictures. The moment captured on the picture was the moment Penelope walked into the room. Suddenly her face changed. She smiled and even her eyes had that glow and she simply was radiant.

''Oh, mom... Where did you get it?''

''I didn't know it if was appropriate to give it to you…because of everything.''

''Oh…''

''Now I feel like I can finally give it to you.''

''Thank you mom.''

Hope took the picture and looked at it.

''You look like baby… A naughty baby, but baby…''

''I don't know if it is a compliment.''

She turned to Caroline.

''It's a beautiful picture.''

''And a girl.''

They took a seat and started eating. In the middle of the dinner someone was at Josie's door. She got up and opened. She was surprised to see Penelope with wild flowers tied with a dark purple satin sash, batch of cupcakes…and a present.

''Penelope?''

''I… I heard your birthday was yesterday and spent it with me in a hospital instead of celebrating with your friends and family. I am really sorry for you missing the evening with the people you love… You had no reason to stay there…but you did…So, I got you a little thank you present.''

Josie was surprised by this.

''Do you want to come in?''

She looked at Josie and tried to think about what she should do.

''You have guests…''

''Come in Penelope…''

She entered Josie's place and it felt weird to be in there. _What a person goes unannounced to their teacher's door?_

''You remember my mom, dad and Hope.''

''I do…''

Alaric smiled at her.

''Good evening Miss Park…''

''Dr. Saltzman…''

Caroline got up and went to the kitchen to get plate and cutlery for Penelope. Josie was putting the flowers in the vase and she had huge smile on her face.

''What are you doing? Hope is there. How do you think your fiancé feels about this? And where is your ring?''

''We broke up…''

''What?''

''She broke up with me…''

''Why would she do it?''

Josie just gave her a look…

''Penelope…''

''Mom… Let's not do this now… I really don't need to argue now.''

''Honey…''

''NO! You and Lizzie must learn to let me live my life.''

''I just…''

''Mom, please.''

''Ok, fine.''

They got back to the dining room and Josie placed the flowers on the coffee table.

''They are beautiful.''

''Thank you… But where did you find them?''

''I don't revel all of my secrets that easily Miss Saltzman.''

''I am afraid to ask.''

''You should be. You are a teacher… An answer could get you in trouble…''

And there was the smirk again. Josie blushed just like she did every time Penelope made some cute comment or looked at her in a certain way. She felt sixteen again and she felt dumb. Then she remembered.

''Penelope Park… The garden? Really?''

''I said you could be in trouble….''

''Mr. Soltz would not be happy tomorrow morning.''

''Don't worry. I duplicated his flowers with a spell. He will never know.''

''I see you opened your school books.''

''I did…And they helped me find a small piece of my past…''

Hope was silent and just watching the exchange between Josie and Penelope. Caroline and Rick offered to clear the table and Hope joined them. That left two other women alone. Josie got up from the table and walked to the living room. She took a seat at the sofa and put her wine glass on the table.

''I couldn't get our conversation out of my head for the entire day.''

Josie didn't expect that to be Penelope's opening.

''Why?''

''I don't know… It made me feel…uncomfortable.''

''I am sorry if I said too much…''

''No, not in that way… But… I felt some sort of… I don't know… Like it was familiar pain to what you were talking about…Like I felt that sort of loss...''

Josie had no idea what to say to that.

''So, I sat there on the same spot we did and I found letters I wrote to some girl.''

''What?''

''Yes, I don't know who she is or anything… There are no dates on them or names or anything that could help me remember… I called her a lot of pet names… like baby, love, beloved, and blossom…for some reason.''

Josie tried to stay calm.

''Apparently we had intense relationship… She burned my hair…''

Josie gave her a look.

''I bet you deserved it.''

''Me? I am an angel.''

''No, you are not… You are a Devil Penelope Park and you know it… There is no innocent bone in your body…''

Penelope smirked at that comment and Josie felt embarrassed for saying something like that. She was supposed to treat her as a student…not FLIRT with her.

''She called me Satan, She Devil…Evil one…''

Josie tried to be sarcastic and tease Penelope.

''Was that undeserved too?''

''You are siding with the enemy here Miss Saltzman.''

Josie had to laugh at that… and she gave Penelope that _really girl?_ look.

''Ok, MAYBE I deserved some of it…''

''The truth comes out… Penelope Park believes she deserved some sort of punishment…''

'' It looks like I did some spell to kill her plants…''

 _I knew it was you…_

''and…to make her sister's dress tighter and tease her that she got fat. Apparently that bitch was very vane…''

 _She still is…and I loved you for that one…_

''I ruined her almost date with another boy…''

 _No, you didn't… I didn't even want to be there._

''I made out with our friend because I knew she was in front of the door. It looks like we followed one another a lot… and knew each move the other made.''

 _I wanted to kill MG after that._

''I think that's why she burned my hair…But I am not sure yet… Timeline in the letters is a bit confusing…''

 _Is it?_

''It looks like we even slept together during the brake up period…My guess is it was a hate sex.''

Josie almost chocked on her wine.

No, it was actually not…it was very nice and tender and amazing night.

''Why do you think that?''

''With all the things I allegedly did… That girl must have hated me a lot…''

 _Not always… I loved you even then…_

''I threatened her sister…''

 _What?_

''When? Why?''

''I don't know what happened, but I know her sister was pissed… It looked like I threatened her and told her I would burn her world down for the way she treated her and made her feel invisible and like she didn't matter and that because of her being a giant black hole that sucked all the love and energy from my girl….her world would burn… From what I found… I think I really loved her…even after we ended things.''

Josie's eyes were full of tears. Some of the things she knew and some she didn't….But hearing them from Penelope…even completely unaware Penelope…meant the world to her.

''You look weird Miss Saltzman. Are you ok?''

''Yes, its jut… The letters and all you told me…''

''She moved on…and it's time for me too.''

''What?''

''It looks like she has someone…and maybe I should let her be. Since I have no idea who she is, how can I even think about fighting for that person and relationship? Maybe she IS happy now with someone and with my mind being blanc…Maybe I should let her be?''

Josie didn't say anything. She took some more of her wine…

''You see Miss Saltzman… You are not the only sucker for doomed romances.''

Josie smiled.

''Looks like I am not.''

They didn't notice that her parents and Hope left. Josie kept listening to Penelope's ramblings and attempts to put her life together and all she could think of was how madly in love she was with this girl sitting in front of her.

''You haven't tried my cupcakes…''

Josie got up and took the box.

''Let's see...''

As expected they were chocolate cupcakes with three sorts of chocolate and on top was cream with rainbow color crumbs. Just like Penelope always made them for her. Josie took a bite and she enjoyed it. It tasted yummy…

''Penelope, this is amazing.''

''It's the only thing I know how to make…''

Josie smiled at her. _I know… I know…_

Around midnight Penelope went back to her room. Josie changed and got some more wine… She found the present on the kitchen counter and opened it. It was a book. Penelope got her Goethe's _Faustus_. It had dedication ,written in perfect calligraphic handwriting that she knew too well. It made Josie's heart jump.

 _Miss Saltzman,_

 _Never be afraid to sell your soul to the Devil for love…_

 _Penelope Park_


	6. Chapter 6

Josie took the book to bed that night… She couldn't believe the balls of Penelope Park. She could, but… She was her teacher…and she wrote something like that as the dedication? That girl will be death of her…again… It didn't take her long to fall asleep but that was all because of too much wine she had the previous night. She woke up to her alarm clock and hated those extra glasses of wine she had last night. She got out of bed and saw the book on the nightstand. She will see her today in class. She will have Penelope in her class and she knew it would be a challenge. That girl drove their teachers crazy and she will drive her crazy in more than one way. She took a shower got ready and left the apartment. She had three classes before having to face Penelope….and they flew never faster.

Penelope Park woke up with an unusual cheerfulness… She was excited for the day… She found her timetable and prepared all the books she would need. Miss Saltzman left her the locker combination and where to find it. She took a shower and opened her closet. It was time to pick an outfit. She picked shirt, plaid skirt and fishnets and knee-high boots. She made conclusion that her hair is a bit boring, so she used magic to male it longer and curls more defined. She didn't have time to fix the hair for real. She used pins to get hair out of her face and the rest of hair was down. She did her makeup and felt sexy as hell. It was time to get to know her classmates…again. She got out of the room and went to her first class. It was very boring but she had fun watching people watching her. It felt like they never saw her before. Some of them talked to her when they met her in the hallways before classes started, but the rest was staring at her. Mr. Saltzman told them that Penelope had just transferred from other school and to be nice to her. Some of them approached her after the class and offered their help if she needed to find her classes. She knew some of them just did that to get her attention. Some wolf boys were very determined to walk her to class. One of those classes was Josie's English class. Josie noticed crowd in front of her classroom and got out to see what was going on. She was not really surprised to see Penelope and the pack following her.

''Miss Park, I see we have some lost boys with us today?''

''Don't worry Miss Saltzman, I don't need any help to find you…your classroom….And when it comes to them, they were already lost….''

Penelope winked at her and Josie knew this was the beginning of her hell.

''Get in the classroom Miss Park and you boys go to your classes.''

She got in and found an empty desk in a third row in the middle. She and Jose had perfect view of each other. She just realized that she would have an eye on the teacher all the time…and she liked the idea of that. Josie did all she could to focus and give her usual best at class. They were starting the class with suggestions of what they should read. One of the boys in the back row suggested Lolita. That was one of the last titles she wanted to hear now. Penelope just looked at Josie's surprised and weirded out face and smiled. God, she was really hot for teacher…

''Well… I…''

Some other girl agreed with him.

''Miss Saltzman, you said we could pick some of controversial books… This one is good…''

''Any other suggestion?''

One of the girls in class somehow figured out that Penelope liked girls.

''My guess is that new girl wouldn't mind reading _Fingersmith_.''

Some of the kids giggled. Josie was surprised by the suggestion and by the fact that someone already found the way to connect Penelope and girls. By the way Penelope looked at the other girls, Josie knew what was coming. There was that sweet venomous smile she had before she was about to bury someone.

''Oh, if you refer to me, I already read the book. It's good actually and I saw the BBC adaptation too. And if that was meant to be an insult, you got the wrong girl… I have no problem with my sexuality… I am equal opportunity evil temptress…''

Josie rolled her eyes at that comment. It was soooo Penelope Park she knew, loved and remembered.

''I loves me my boys and my girls… I loves me my everyone who gets me interested. But what is wrong with being gay? Or any other variation of sexuality? Is that a bad thing to like men or women? Is that how you judge people? Is that reason to make fun of someone? Their sexuality or assumed sexuality more often? BUT I must applaud your knowledge of modern lesbian literature… I guess that someone has been _tipping you velvet pretty_ good for you to suggest the book.''

Other girl picked up her books and run out of the class. Penelope turned to the kids that were giggling.

''Anyone else?''

And there was silence. Josie was proud of the way Penelope defended herself…but she knew Penelope overstepped.

''Miss Park… Please…Next time…''

'' I'm sorry Miss Saltzman, but some things can't be tolerated. She can't make fun of someone based on their sexual preferences. I am standing my ground there. And if you think I was too harsh, I'm sorry but I think she got what she came for. I am not going to let anyone step over me in order to be polite. I have self-respect and self-love to stand up to anyone who tries to come for me...and she tried. ''

''Any other suggestion for the book?''

Penelope lifted her hadn.

''For the record, I am ok with her suggestion of the book…''

"I am not surprised.''

Penelope gave Josei a fake smile and continued doodling something in her notebook. Since there was no other suggestion Lolita remained the book they wanted to read. Penelope raised her hand.

''What about Name of the Rose? It's a good book too…''

''In a supernatural school reading about burning witches?''

''Oh, Miss Saltzman… Even students of this school daydream about burning a witch or two…''

''I don't think it's appropriate…''

''How about Margaret Atwood?''

''Penelope…''

''Neil Gaiman?''

'' Salman Rushdie?''

Josie smirked…

''He didn't burn witches… He is a Nobel prize winner…''

''Fine… What does the class think of it? Raise your hands?''

They voted yes and _Midnight's children_ was the book that was chosen. After the class ended, Josie took a seat on her chair and just held her head in her hands.

''She will be the end of me.''

''Are you ok Miss Saltzman?''

"Penelope, what are you doing here?''

''I saw you hold your head and I wondered if you were ok…''

''I am…''

''Are you sure?''

''Yes… I have headache….from last night.''

''It's not from last night… I got up just fine… It's from the wine you had…''

''Maybe…smartass...''

''Miss Saltzman, that is not a way to address your student.''

''And you are not allowed to call me out for my drinking…''

''You did have three glasses of wine…''

''And you are a smartass Penelope Park.''

''Is that because of what happened now?''

''You shouldn't have said some of the things. Especially if she is still in the closet.''

''Miss Saltzman, I get it that it's hard… But she has no right to make fun of people that way.''

''I get you, but… Be more delicate…''

''Is she even… I don't know what…''

''I don't know what? What does that mean Penelope?''

''I don't want to assume her sexuality…''

Jose laughed and shook her head. She couldn't really believe Penelope.

''… or she was trying to provoke me?''

''I have no idea and I shouldn't know that about my students.''

Penelope sat at the desk in front of Josie.

''But you do know? Don't you?''

''I have seen her only with boys.''

''And I don't get the vibe…''

''Oh, the vibe…''

''Miss Saltzman… It's real…''

''Is it?''

''Yes.''

''Go to next class Penelope…''

''Don't worry… I am new here… I can be late and lie that I got lost.''

''But you didn't…''

''I could…If I am properly bribed.''

''LEAVE!''

''See you after lunch Miss Saltzman.''

Penelope left and Jose started preparing materials for her next lesson. She had a free period and she stayed in the classroom. Her phone rang and it was MG. They haven't sponek in few weeks so he had no idea that Penelope was back.

''Hey MG.''

''Hey gorgeous.''

''Funny…''

''What are you up to?''

''Nothing I have free period and classes until four after that.''

''I am back for a couple of days… I wanted to come by the school and see you and Hope.''

''Oh…''

''What?''

''Nothing… I have to go…''

She hung up… She had no idea how to tell him about the brake up or about the Penelope returning. Hope came into her classroom and gave her a look.

''MG called. You hung up on him…''

''I didn't know what to tell him.''

''He wants to have dinner and come to school.''

''What do we do?''

''I have no idea Josei… It's not up to me to think about it now.''

''He is in for a huge surprise.''

''So is Lizzie… Your mom just called to tell Lizzie is coming tomorrow and wants to talk wedding.''

''Shit!''


	7. Chapter 7

MG came after the classes ended and Hope and Josie waited for him at the entrance. He looked around and had huge smile on his face.

''How are my two favorite brides to be?''

Before Josie said anything, Hope answered.

''Broken up, and how are you MG?''

''What? Why? How did that happen?''

His face from surprised morphed into shocked… There she was…Penelope Park walking down the path with books in her hands hair down…and smile on her face like she owned the world… MG just stared at the girl and by his face it was clear to the other two who he saw. Penelope was walking toward them.

''Miss Saltzman, Miss Michaelson…''

Josie smiled…

''Penelope…''

And there was the smirk and Josie's blush. Hope rolled her eyes at the interaction between Josie and Penelope… Those two were…just too much for her now.

''Josette Saltzman, you better explain this!''

''What is there to explain…It's clear…''

''That girl was dead… I carried her dead body… I carried the casket…''

''Penelope is back… Alive and sixteen with no memory of any of us…''

''How?''

''Day before my birthday I got the letter form Necromancer with the locket I put around her neck when we were in the library alone… And he told me I could have her back if I come to the place he told me to come to and the rest is history.''

''She is really alive?''

''Yes, very much alive.''

MG followed Josei's line of view and realized she watched Penelope who was sitting under the tree and reading the book. She would occasionally lift her look and smiled at Josie or simply just went back to reading.

''Damn! Penelope Park really has game!''

He noticed some guys coming to her and very soon leaving her company and even some girls showing interest in her. She shamelessly flirted with them, but every now and then she would wink at Josie or just smile.

''God, she still has you wrapped around her little finger.''

''MG…''

''I am sorry Hope…''

''No, it's true. She has game and Josie is falling for her just like she did at sixteen. I have to go back to the office. Call me when you figure out where you want to have lunch.''

Hope left them and MG just hugged Josie.

''How are you holding on?''

''It's a nightmare… She has no idea who I am… I have our entire story in my head and she only knows she had an ex she loved very much. She found some of her own letters she never gave me… So she has no idea about the girl she wrote them for.''

''That is heavy.''

''It is… And on the other hand she is such a flirt…''

''She was always like that.''

''It's not the same… I am not sixteen anymore.''

''Maybe, but she still makes you blush like she did when you were thirteen and having a major crush on our _Resident Evil_ …''

''You sound like Lizzie…''

''Maybe someone should get some reason into you? Is it worth it to end it with Hope after six years?''

''Yes, I love Penelope…''

''But she is a kid…''

''We are twenty two MG…''

''I know…but…''

''It's not that much of an age gap…''

''You are her teacher…''

''I know…''

''Josie, don't do anything stupid.''

''It's Penelope…Stupid is in the cards already… You know it.''

''Let God have mercy on us when Lizzie finds out.''

''I agree.''

''Does she know about you and Hope?''

''No, didn't tell her that either…''

''Jo…You are dead.''

''I know.''

Alaric came out of the school and MG went to say hi to him. Penelope took a chance since Josie was alone and she came to her.

''Miss Saltzman…''

''Miss Park…''

''I solved the mystery.''

''Mystery?''

''About Andrea… She is straight…and a bigot…''

''Oh, THAT mystery…''

''So, I was right…''

''About?''

''Her being a…hm…no nice way of saying it…female sex organ….''

Josie's laughter interrupted MG's and Alaric's conversation. They turned to see what got her to laugh so much and saw her standing with Penelope.

''She'll get in trouble for this…''

''She already is. Look at her. She is glowing when Penelope is near. It's like six years still loves her.''

''What do we do?''

''What can we do? I think that we did all we could. The rest is on them to figure out MG.''

''I don't want her to be hurt.''

''Love hurts…Even when it works out…''

''I guess you are right…''

They continued watching Josie and Penelope talk and Josie melting with every word Penelope says to her.

''You don't have your ring?''

''What?''

''Your engagement ring is not on your finger…''

''I am not engaged anymore…''

''I'm sorry…''

''It's ok… It was waiting to happen…''

''Then why say yes?''

''I believed it might work.''

''So, you and Miss Michaelson are not together anymore or just not engaged?''

''I am back to being single…''

''Good.''

''Good? You are the first person who broken engagement calls good.''

'' There is plenty of opportunities for you… The world is our oyster.''

''Like it is for you?''

''Don't tell anyone, but I am not into sea food…even if it is an aphrodisiac.''

''Oh, really?''

''Yes, I don't need that stuff. When I want, I want… When I don't ,nothing would help that person…''

''You are horrible.''

''Not, I am just honest.''

Josie couldn't believe her.

''Life is too short to fake it and sleep with the wrong people Miss Saltzman.''

''Did you read it from the bumper sticker?''

''Don't spread the hate Miss.''

''I am not…''

Before their banter could continue, MG and Rick called Josie to join them.

''See you around Miss Saltzman.''

''Penelope….''

MG suggested the grill for their lunch and they picked up Hope too. Penelope was surprised to see Josie, Hope and the unknown man walk to his car together. By the way he behaved toward Josie, she guessed her was a friend or something like that.

Lunch was going pretty ok. MG was talking about Chicago and life there. He was starting his own company and he was very enthusiastic and had many ideas of what he wanted to do with it. Hope and Jose were very happy for him.

''I am glad you are doing ok MG. I really miss you.''

''I miss you to Josie… It's boring without you.''

''I know…''

''Yes, I don't have anyone to call and five AM and tell them how I have some ideas…''

Hope teased him.

''Or to tell us you got laid.''

''It was one time…''

''Maybe, but you talked for a long time about that night.''

''Yes, I did… It was a dream come true.''

''We don't want to listen anymore MG.''

''Ok, since we are on the sex topic…What was that in the yard today Saltzman?''

''What?''

''You and certain She Devil flirting like there is no tomorrow.''

''We were not…''

''I do not agree.''

''We just talked.''

''What about?''

''The class today…''

''And what happened?''

''Something like Penelope vs. Andrea Jonson….''

''Damn! And I wasn't there to see it.''

Josie laughed. MG missed the previous takedown too.

''You have no luck with seeing her tear people down.''

Hope took some of her wine.

''Lizzie is coming tomorrow… There is a chance for it to be seen. They were legendary…If we take two of you out of the equation.''

''Hope…''

''It's true Jose… What you could say to her, I never heard you say it to anyone else.''

''She did have talent to push my buttons too much.''

''She still does… She is here for a few days and you are not the same. You act like a teenager with her.''

''I'm sorry.''

''Stop apologizing for being in love with her.''

Hope had a little too much to drink. She got up from the table and went out of the grill.

''Go with her. I'll find a ride back.''

''Ok…''

MG left and Josie remained alone there. She paid the bill and went for a walk. She had to clear her head too. She couldn't be angry at Hope. She was right to be angry and hurt. But she also deserved more than being second. Especially now with Penelope being alive and close. Alaric was in town so she asked him for a ride home. He asked what happened with MG and Hope and she told him. He guessed it would be like that.

''She is hurting…''

''I know.''

''You said some messed up things…six years ago and we all tolerated it.''

''I am not saying anything about Hope…Dad, I know she needs time to heal…''

''Good, good…Be patient.''

''I've been the one who was patient all my life. Patient with Lizzie, with mom, with you…with Hope… All of my life…''

Rick saw that there was no point in this conversation. He just dropped the subject. They entered the school estate and Josie couldn't wait to get into her place and have some time alone. She really needed space. She got into her apartment and went to the bedroom. She started filling in the tub and getting ready for her bath. She poured glass of wine and found some nice music in her phone. She really believed that soaking into this beautiful bath would solve at least some of her problems. Music, bath and wine did help but after she got out of the tub her problems were still there… She made dinner and picked a movie. Her quiet evening was interrupted by the banging on the door. She opened and there stood Lizzie with Caroline.

''Josette Saltzman, you have some serious explaining to do…''


	8. Chapter 8

Lizzie stormed into Josie's place and started shouting at her.

''Why in the world would you end it? Are you insane?''

''Hello to you too Lizzie…''

''Don't! I bought the dress..''

''I knew it was actually about you, not me and end of my relationship.''

''Hey, you have no idea how hard it is to get that designer to even see you, let alone make you a dress.''

''I am sure there will be a chance for you to put on that dress. Someone you know might make wedding party or even divorce party… I am not worried about that dress staying in the back of the closet.''

''Josie, what has gotten into you?''

''Nothing Lizzie… I just love how you make my brake up about your dress.''

''Why did you end it?''

''I didn't, she did…''

''Why ? She was like puppy with you… Running after you and seeking attention for years.''

''No, that was you… Hope was just with me.''

''Don't be rude… What happened? Did she cheat?''

''NO!''

''Did you?''

''Not really…''

''Not really?''

Before she got a chance to explain, there was someone else at the door. Josie opened and there was Penelope. Josie got out of the apartment.

''Can we talk?''

''No! Not now… My sister is here… and we are arguing…''

''Oh, Lizzie…Ok, see you…''

Before Penelope got a chance to leave, Lizzie opened the door and just stared at her. Next moement she just fainted.

''Please Penelope… Wel'll talk tomorrow. I must deal with her.''

''Ok…''

Penelope left and Jose went back to the apartment. Caroline already moved Lizzie from the floor to the sofa. They woke her up and she just looked at Josie.

''Did I just see Penelope Park at your door…Like Penelope in school uniform…''

''You did…''

''How?''

''Necromancer gave her back to me.''

''What did you have to do?''

''Kiss her.''

''Just what we needed. Satan in the land of living.''

''Don't call her that!''

''Now I know why Hope left you. It's clear.''

''What?''

''You still have feelings for her… And now she is a kid.''

''She is not.''

''She is sixteen…!''

''And we are just twenty two!''

''But you are her teacher.''

''Not forever.''

''God, Josie… I thought we ended that story.''

''No, you ended it in your head. I never stopped thinking about her and loving her.''

''So what now?''

''Now she is my student…And I am lost.''

''Maybe you should come with me. You might meet someone our age. Some nice man… Maybe a lawyer like my husband… He has some available friends… You still like men too…''

''Lizzie! First of all I am not looking for a husband and what you want in life… Second, when it comes to Penelope she IS our age...''

''Not anymore.''

''Lizzie, please… My head hurts… I can't listen to this anymore. I can't listen to people trying to make my decisions…''

''What are you talking about? I never did that!''

Josei had it now.

''You never did that?! All my life I let you make my choices. Only thing I ever wanted and I really cared about, was Penelope and you had to blackmail me to end things. Your tantrums, your restless nights… it all took tall on us and we broke up and things went south from there.''

''Now it's my fault she died?''

''No, but you had part in it… Part of the reason we broke up were you… You trying to have all of my time and not letting me breathe Lizzie.''

''It's not all my fault Josie… You have your share of blame.''

''I do, but you hurt her.''

''So did you Jose!''

''I did… And I never forgave myself for that.''

Her eyes were full of tears again.

''That night when I found Penelope's body in the woods I died too Lizzie. I held the dead body of someone I love in my arms and I never got the chance to say something nice to her… Last words I said to her were that I hated her and that I wish I've never met her because she hurt me and broke me…I screamed at her face that I am sorry mom was busy with guests so she can't compel her from my mind and heart. Now as a punishment probably I am living the life I wished for her… I am the forgotten one…One that never existed in her life and I get to watch her life from the sidelines.…And all she did after that was kiss me…''

Josie was crying now. Sobbing actually… Lizzie started walking toward her but Josei stopped her.

''No! I need to be alone… please leave… We'll talk tomorrow.''

''You have to let me make my own choices and mistakes. I am tired of everyone knowing what is wrong or right…''

Caroline and Lizzie left the apartment and Josie stayed alone and couldn't stop crying. She couldn't believe Lizzie. She was more upset about the dress than brake up and all that it means. She was angry that Lizzie still felt the same animosity toward Penelope even after she gave her life for them. She couldn't deal with Lizzie's drama and her pain anymore. She had to have some time for herself and her pain. She was happy Penelope was there but she was feeling so bad that the other girl doesn't remember her and uses every chance there is to flirt with her. She had no idea what she is doing to her and what she feels. She spent years suppressing her feelings. Bottling them up day after day, year after year and trying to be strong for someone, careful not to hurt someone's emotions…constantly hurting herself. Now, she was finally alone. Finally free to cry, to shout to feel. She couldn't stop crying she had a feeling she could cry for days… Since Penelope's death in the woods she didn't cry this much. Then she had good excuse, after that she would have had to confess how much she loves and misses the other girl and that was something no one wanted to know and hear.

She felt someone's arms around her and she just let herself be held… Then she felt that person stroking her hair and kissing her face trying to get all the tears away. She heard words she was longing to hear for so long.

''It's ok… You are safe… Get it all out… You are ok… I promise.''

That person held her close and tight. She was safe… She was not alone and someone was actually there for her. She was so tired…Tired of pretending. Tired of not knowing what to do with her life, of trying to be good for everyone else. She was just so tired that she needed someone to take care of her for change. She felt light kisses on her face again and then kiss on her lips. At first it was a very light kiss…very feather like…brush of the lips on her. She closed her eyes and just enjoyed the closeness of that person… And then the other kiss happened…It was still gentle, but more intense. And suddenly she felt her entire body was on fire with that kiss. She deepened the kiss and felt like she didn't feel in years. She felt like she was finally alive. She knew who it was. But she didn't dare to open her eyes. She was afraid it would ruin the fantasy. She was led to the bedroom and lowered on the bed. The other person undid her robe and was greeted with all the nakedness of Josette Saltzman in all of her glory… She knew those hands… Those hands knew her. She responded to every touch, to every kiss. She felt the other person on top of her and kissing every inch of her body… She felt kisses on her face and her neck again. Feeling the familiar skin under her fingertips was a dream come true. She heard the whisper…

'Penelope…''

''Open your eyes and look at me.''

''No, I can't… If I open them, you will be gone…''

''I am not going anywhere…I promise. I am here… Look at me.''

Josei opened her eyes and on top of her was very naked Penelope Park… She was stroking her face and smiling at her. Josie smiled back.

''You see, I am here…I am still here.''

Josie smiled again…

''Yes you are…''

They kissed again and Josie finally let herself feel, want, be wanted and not thinking about anything but here and now and what she wants. She was tied of the entire world having expectations. And with that she faded into some sort of perfect haze… Penelope was there… She was in her arms again and that was all that mattered.

She cried... She cried again from that insane mixture of feelings she had flooding her body and all. She was happy, she was scared, she was tired, and she was feeling things again…

''Penelope….''

''Shhh… No talking… Please…Don't say a word.''

If she was not allowed to talk, she was allowed to touch and feel. She pulled Penelope back in the kiss and flipped them. Now it was her turn to kiss and touch the body she longed for year after year. She felt the same, tasted the same…but somehow better than before. After a while Penelope gained back her control over the situation and Josie and for Josie it felt like coming home. She and her girl back again.

They had sex that afternoon knowing what the consequence might be for them. But somehow it didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore… Josie had what she dreamed of for so long and now she felt like puzzle pieces of her life were finally fitting and in place.


	9. Chapter 9

Penelope was confused. All sorts of feelings were mixed in her. She was holding on to Josie like she is some sort of life line and she couldn't shake off the feeling that she can't let go. She cuddled next to her and tried to savor everything about the moment. Josie's smell, smell of her hair, and softness of her skin…She kissed her behind the ear and berated in again everything woman in her arms was. She looked at the clock by Josie's side and realized it was six in the morning. She had to leave and sneak back to the dorm. She slowly untangled from Josie and started collecting her things from the bedroom floor. Josie opened her eyes and Penelope could see hurt in them because she was about to leave. She got dressed and took a seat beside Josie.

''I promise I am not running…I am not sneaking out after one night stand. It's six in the morning. I have to go back to the dorm before anyone sees me. If I stay I might be in trouble….Even more trouble.''

She smiled and kissed Josie's hand. Josie had to admit she was right. She pretty much had about twenty minutes before someone might see her.

''I really, really like you…Even if it's completely insane...''

Josie nodded…

''Agreed…It is insane… You have no idea how insane…''

Penelope kissed her.

''I was there last night…and this morning…So I know…''

Josie rolled her eyes at how smartass Penelope was. But in a way she was right. She was there.

''See you in class...Now I really must run… Unless you want me to get detention with Miss Michaelson or your dad…''

''Go!''

Penelope kissed her and sneaked out. Josie covered her face with her hands and started laughing like crazy. She just had sex with a student…Who happens to be her dead girlfriend she brought back to life. Life had weird sense of humor these days. She got up, took a long shower and just spent the time having the coffee with the idiotic face… Oh, god everyone will know she had…an interesting night.

Penelope sneaked in at the last moment. Just as she closed her door someone opened theirs and the crazy life of the second floor and race for bathroom started. She took a shower and got ready for classes. She chose to tone it down a bit. She was in white shirt, black and red plaid dress up to her knees and flats. Her hair was down and she had black jacket with a school crest and red edges on the lapels. She remembered to check if Josie left a hicky or something she had to cover and she was glad that there was no evidence of the night they had… Just memories playing in her head. She knew it was wrong to have all these feelings, but all that went to air when she had Josie… Felling of being with her was beyond anything she could imagine. Memories of last night didn't make her blush; they made her crave the other woman even more. Like, if anyone could offer her to do something or spend time with someone, she would pick Josie. Just to be there and listen to her talk and watch her blush at some silly things and ramble about something just because she is nervous. To Penelope she was the cutest then. It was time for her to go and eat and then the classes were starting. She took her time picking her food. She was in a mood for so many things. She in the end picked fruit and coffee. She was nervous to see Josie. She had no idea how the class would look now. _She saw her naked…And her teacher saw her naked too. Would she spend entire lesson thinking about what happened between them? How should she call her when they are alone? It's a bit stupid to call her Miss Saltzman… unless it's for some very intentional purpose , but her head had to get out of the gutter now… Hmm… So many questions?_

Josie and Hope got into the dining hall to get coffee and to get something to eat. Hope went to the teacher's line and Josie stood there just watching Penelope. Penelope saw her and smiled. Josie blushed and smiled back. God, how she loved that smile! And she missed it so much… It was her Penelope…her little evil temptress turned into pile of mush. There was no malice in that smile…Just pure Penelope.

''Josei, it's our turn...''

Hope got her out of her haze. Hope just looked at her and observed her.

''What is wrong with you?''

''With me?''

''You are weird.''

''Lizzie is here.''

''Might cover the weird part… But what about the girl toy… Why is she weird?''

''What?''

''She spends a lot of time in the library…''

''She goes to school here and that's where students go… Sometimes to study, sometimes to hide.''

''Hide?''

''She spent a lot of time there even in the past. Library was always somehow her safe place. And that cottage in the woods… Maybe she feels some pull toward the library and silence it provides.''

''I still vote she is hiding something.''

''Hope, she has no idea who she is…. She has no memories of anything that matters… Don't you think she is entitled to be weird? And if you want to be honest, she was always weird. She lived in that library last year she was there. She would appear out of nowhere and disappear just like that. She would lurk from some dark corner and have all the information you didn't want her to have. But that's just Penelope. I guess you can erase the memories, but not the essence of the person.''

Hope was silent for a moment, like she was thinking about it for some time.

''Maybe you are right.''

''I have class to go to… I got into serious argument with Lizzie last night and I am afraid it will only escalate if I see her this morning.''

'"What happened?''

''She is angry at me because the wedding is off BECAUSE SHE HAS THE DRESS. Yes, she has some fancy ass designer make a dress for her and she can't put it on now.''

''Bummer…''

''I know!''

''What should I do with my wedding dress?''

''You had a dress?''

''Of course… I don't leave anything for the last minute.''

''Where was it?''

''In the secret compartment on my side of the closet…. On the opposite side, in your closet you hide Penelope's cape and some other things… I hide my dress in mine. I just pretended I had no idea what was in yours and you actually never opened mine. I have to go.''

Now Josie felt like crap. She had no idea Hope had a dress. She even had no idea what sort of dress she would even like to have. She knew it was supposed to be spring wedding in the rose garden, but that was all she had in mind. She believed Hope would figure it out. She was always more practical and she knew that her mom and Lizzie would be there for her to pick the dress…NO, they would pick the dress for her…so she never really thought about it…NO, that was also a lie. She knew she and Penelope wanted to get married on the beach somewhere in summer dresses and barefoot…just to elope and have their perfect day…Minimum make up, minimum people and maximum love. That was the idea. But she also knew that her mom and Lizzie would never dare to bully her into anything if she was marrying Penelope Park. That bitch could handle both of them at the age of sixteen, Josei could only imagine what would have she been able to do now. She got shaken out of her toughts by familiar voice.

''Are you ok? You look sad.''

''I am fine Penelope… My mind just wondered somewhere.''

''Ok…See you in class…''

There was the smirk and then the wink.

''….Miss Saltzman…''

''See you in class Miss Park.''

She had some books to pick up from the library before she went to her classroom. She got them from Mrs. Pots and went to her class. She was excited for the day with her kids. During the first lesson she worked with young kids and she loved to teach magic to them. They had fun doing all sorts of silly things. Those kids made her wonder about having children and big family. But she knew that was not in the cards for her. She would have twins and then watch one of them die…killed by their twin. She couldn't do that to herself. Adoption was always an option but she knew it was not the time yet.

Penelope was sitting in World history class and listening about the Ancient Egypt and she really loved history, especially that B.C. time. She could close her eyes and imagine being a queen in place like that or some high priestess…yes, that's more like it for her. Power, magic and world at her feet. She loved the idea of that. Next two classes were not that much fun but she didn't care. She would see Josie after them so…all was good to her.

Josie was nervous for her class with Penelope. She was very excited and again afraid they would somehow give away that there is something between them. Josie was behind her desk when Penelope entered the class. She was just in time before the bell. She took a seat and Josie got up from her chair.

''Ok, class…Today we start with Fitzgerald and his _Gatsby_. Did any of you read the book before this?''

As expected, few arms were in the air, including Penelope's.

''Good, so we have some students who read the book. I would like to know what your impressions were before we start…and please don't spoil the book to the others. In few words describe , explain the plot.''

Boy raised his hand and Josie gave him the floor.

''It's the book about rotten society…''

Penelope was next.

''It's a book about love lost and found… About lies… and deception in love. And about people being fake in so many ways.''

She looked at Penelope. The tone surprised her.

''You think people are fake?''

''In the book or real life Miss Saltzman?''

''Both..''

''Short answer, yes…''

''And a bit longer?''

''People tend to fake a lot of things. We tend to tell the story in order for people to like us. If there were no mystery around Gatsby and his house and all the money, no one would have cared about him. Just like when he was young and he first met Daisy. Then he was just a poor boy who loved her. And now he comes back a mystery men with loads of money…And all of the sudden people love him. He had to become someone else for Daisy to see him worthy of her.''

''But she loved him before.''

''But not enough… She married the other man.''

''She believed he was dead.''

''She would have never married a poor boy…Not with a family like hers… She was unhappy in her marriage, but never even tried to end it. She loved being Mrs. Daisy Fay Buchanan.''

''So, you think everyone is like that?''

''No, I think we sometimes tend to pick convenience over what we really want out of fear of really wanting something and changing our lives.''

''Ok, that makes sense.''

''Anyone else?''

No one said anything.

''Ok, open your books and let's start.''

Class went by very fast and after the bell many students just rushed off. Penelope was taking her time. Everyone left so Josie could speak to her.

''Are you ok Penelope.''

She just smiled.

''It's the book… I never really liked it.''

''Oh, ok…''

''Don't worry…''

''That is impossible.''

''I guess it it…''

''I have a question…''

''Yes?''

''How should I call you now? I think Miss Saltzman is a bit…''

''Too much?''

''In normal conversation, yes…''

''Josie is ok…''

''Any nicknames I should avoid?''

''What do you mean?''

''We all have some nicknames that remind us of someone… Is there a nickname I should avoid?''

''Nicknames of the exes… I get it now…''

''Yeah…''

Before she could answer, Alaric came into the room.

''Josie…Oh, hello Miss Park.''

''Dr. Saltzman…''

" See you fifth period Penelope…''

''Yes.''

She left the room and Josie was alone with Alaric.

''Dad?''

''What was that about?''

''Her getting upset over Gatzbie.''

''Oh….''

''She did always hate the book.''

''Want to have lunch with mom and me?''

''Sure… But now I must prepare something for my next lesson. See you later?''

''Sure honey.''

He left the classroom and she went back to work. After some time she went to get some tea. When she came back there were two roses on her desk with a note.

" _Grant me one hour on love's most sacred shores_

 _To clasp the bosom that my soul adores,_

 _Lie heart to heart and merge my soul with yours."_

― _Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Faust_

 _Thank you for the first memory worth having since this all happened._

 _P._

Putting the card down in her bag she turned to see if anyone noticed anything. Her dad was coming to pick her up for lunch so she closed the bag and hid the flower in the desk.


	10. Chapter 10

Penelope and Josie were sitting in front of her fireplace and having hot chocolate. She somehow managed to sneak out of the dorms and wonder into Josie's apartment. Lucky for them no one else was there. Penelope is drinking her hot chocolate and watching the flame in silence.

''What is on your mind?''

''Is it that obvious?''

''Yes.''

''A question…Maybe it's a bit unusual…''

''Try me.''

''Do you think that being a literature teaches is screwing up your love live?''

That made Jose laugh and also made Penelope feel stupid for asking.

''How did you get there?''

''Well, teaching about some epic love stories all the time… How do you after that settle for anything else?''

''I think that any love story is special in its own way. There are people who live their lives together without many crises in relationships. They grow old together and they are happy. And there are people who live love story like my mom and dad. They met, fell in love and she died on their wedding day. He never got over her death?''

''How come they are not together now? She is just vampire…''

''Caroline is the birth mom…We also have biological mother. I was named after her. My real name is Josette.''

''And he never forgot her?''

''No…Never… But he used two of us as an excuse to never try again with anyone else too. Like he has two kids and what woman would date a man with twins…''

''I get it.''

Penelope laced their fingers and gave Josie one of her curious looks.

''And what was your excuse?''

''For what?''

''Not going through your engagement?''

That was a complicated question to answer. How could Josie tell her the real reason?

'' I think that it became habit.''

''But every love does.''

''Not in that way. I think we got used to each other. I care about Hope but I never really loved her.''

''Why then say yes?''

''She proposed in a very public place… I couldn't say no…''

''Makes sense…''

''It did at the time…''

''But why not return the ring later or something.''

''I could have married her… We function well. We know each other for a long time. We were friends before the relationship and she knew me almost as good as my ex did. I really needed someone in my corner.''

''Why me?''

''Because you are Penelope… Because you are something out of this world.''

''But you don't know me…''

''I know what I need to know… There is some incredible pull… I can't explain.''

''Maybe you don't have to. I feel it too…''

''You do?''

''I do, but it's stupid…''

''What is?''

''My theory…and feeling.''

''Tell me…''

''You don't feel like stranger… You feel familiar, like I know you… Like it's not the first time we are together.''

Instead of giving her any answer, Josie kissed her. They ended up just kissing on the living room floor and enjoying the closeness and silence.

''Can we move this to the bedroom? This floor is uncomfortable.''

That made Josie laugh… Penelope was very adventurous but hated having sex on the floor if there was bedroom close. They moved it to bed and made love again. Penelope Slowey removed Josie's shirt and she saw the ring around Josie's neck. She touched it and kissed Josie again.

''You are gorgeous Josie…''

''So are you P… You are amazing…''

Having sex with Josie was insanely intense to Penelope. She felt like she was home in a way…She felt like she was crazy for sleeping with her teacher, but on the other hand she couldn't stop thinking about Josie when they were not together.

''Are we insane for doing this?''

''Yes, Penelope… We are…But I wouldn't change it for anything…''

''Really? You are putting yourself at risk here… I am your student…''

''You are so much more than that.''

''You don't know me Josie…''

''I know what I need to know about you…''

Penelope was intrigued.

''And what is that?''

''That you are my person…''

''I should be scared of hearing this…but somehow I feel calm…And sort of happy.''

''I am glad you are sort of happy….Because I am sort of happy too…''

Around nine Penelope was getting dressed and getting ready to go back to her dorm.

''I have to go… I have some homework to finish and tonight is that bossy guard in charge. I don't want to get there after the curfew.''

''See you tomorrow P…''

''See you Josie…''

They kissed again and Penelope left to her dorm. Few minutes after Penelope left, there was knock on the door. Josie hoped Penelope came back, but she was surprised to see her parents and Lizzie at the door.

''What brings you here?''

''We wanted to see how you are and to talk…Just to talk.''

She let them in and they took their seats in the living room. Caroline was first to start the dalk.

''We are worried about you…''

''Ok? Why?''

''It's not healthy to be around her. She will never return your emotions... She is a kid and she wants to enjoy life.''

'' I am very young mom too.''

''She is a kid.''

''So, let me get this straight… You let Lizzie marry a man twenty years older than her and I can't date someone I did date before, who died for me and lost six years. We are sixteen and twenty two now… Sound a bit hypocritical…''

''I know, but it's not the same.''

''I know…Because it's something that I want. If it was something she wanted, you would have made Penelope date her.''

''Josei you are being irrational…''

''No, dad… I am being honest. I am so tired of doing things for everyone else. I need to do something for myself…''

''What?''

''I love Penelope dad! I have always loved her and I am not giving up on her. If you had mom back here and we all told you not to be with her, you would do what you want and bee with her no matter what. Because you know she is your person. Penelope Park is mine! She was always mine and I was stupid to see that before. I am not giving up this time… You may transfer her out of my class, but I am not giving up on her now that she is back.''

''We just want you to be safe and happy.''

''I am happy dad… I finally have her back and close. I get to see her every day and I get to be in the same room with her.''

''Honey…''

''Dad, I really feel finally happy and please don't spoil it for me.''

''I love her dad…''

''I know honey. But I am afraid.''

'' I know.''

Lizzy looked angry.

''You want to be with her again?''

''Yes…''

''Why? Why Satan again? Didn't she hurt you enough?''

''She died for us Lizzie!''

''She didn't die for us… She died for YOU!''

''I know! But she died for you too…''

''She did nothing for me.''

''No, she did it for me.''

''She did it for me Lizzie… She knew I loved you enough to let you win the merge.''

''Let me? Like I wouldn't be able to do it myself?''

Lizzie was full of herself. That triggered something in Josie… She turned to Lizzie.

'' We both know who would really win the merge… Who would win the merge if I really wanted to do it for real? We just turned twenty two…We can still do it… Do you want to Lizzie?''

Lizzie turned pail… Caroline and Alaric were on their feet and looking shocked at their daughter.

''Josie…''

''No, mom…. Let me handle this with Lizzie. Don't get involved as usual…''

Alaric and Caroline stood beside their daughters in wonder.

''Tell me Lizzie? Do you want to do it? Let's get outside…''

Lizzie stood in the middle of the room.

''You wouldn't do it…''

''Are you sure Lizzie?''

''Josie?''

''Don't worry Lizzie… I will not kill you…But I just wanted you to know I could if I wanted to...''

She turned to her parents with a huge smile…like nothing happened.

''Dinner?''


	11. Chapter 11

Josie felt crazy high after telling off Lizzie. She had such a powerful smirk during the dinner with parents and Lizzie and she didn't let it disappear. Lizzie was frightened of this new Josie and she blamed her illicit affair with Penelope for that. If Penelope was not there, everything would be better. She hated that girl. But Josie couldn't remember feeling that much in control of her life. She felt something new…Some interesting amount of strength… She didn't expect to feel so happy and as fulfilled as she did. She finally showed Lizzie that she has abilities to stand up and fight for herself. After her family left she was clearing the table and dancing around how happy and free she felt. She was in the mood for something crazy. She picked up her phone and texted Penelope.

Penelope just finished her homework and got ready for bed. She had bunch of books and stuff on her nightstand and was thinking about what to start next. Some of it were school related and some were her personal researches and interests. She opened her research pile and started reading when her phone pinged. It was Josie.

 **Mrs. Robinson : Library in 20…**

 **Baby girl: Everything ok?**

 **Mrs. Robinson : Just be there. Clothing…optional…**

 **Baby girl: Bootie call? Nice… So, I should conveniently forget my panties… somewhere ? ;)**

Josie picked out very short black dress and lingerie that was combination of satin and lace. She got high heels and her makeup was spot on. Josie got there first and made sure that no one was in the library. Few moments later Penelope showed up with a signature smirk. She was in her uniform and somehow her skirt looked shorter that it should be.

''Seal the door Penelope.''

''Yes, Miss Saltzman.''

''Uniform? I like it?''

'' I know… You said optional…and I love this option…So, Miss Saltzman, what do we do now?''

Josie came to Penelope and whispered in her ear…

''Whatever we want.''

''I have few ideas…Miss Saltzman…''

Now Josie was the one with the smirk…

''I bed you do Penelope…''

''Oh, you have no idea…''

She whispered something in Josie's ear and it made her blush. Damn you Penelope Park… You and your dirty mind… She managed to make Josei putty in her hands even in the moment when she wanted to be in charge. She got Josie to one of the desks and they were kissing with so much passion and desire. Penelope's list of what she wanted to do with her lover was miles long and everything was juicer than the previous one. But then she stopped. Josie was surprised with Penelope ending the kiss.

''What is wrong?''

''This night is about YOU! What is it you want from me Josie….? Take ti…''

''What?''

''Take what you need from me… I am willing to do pretty much anything…''

That took Josie by surprise. Penelope wanted her to take charge and take it all.

''What do you mean?''

She helped Josie off the table and took her place sitting on it. She offered her hand to Josie and she took it. Penelope got her to stand in front of her and put her legs around her.

''Take what you want and need from me. I am in your hands…What do you need from me? WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT?''

Josie was fascinated by the girl again. Even giving into submission, she kept control oved them. Her eyes didn't leave Josie's. She was giving Josie a dare. She whispered in her ear.

''What is it YOU want? Tell me… Do it… I am waiting… What do YOU need?''

Josie felt shiver down her back… She touched Penelope's face and the girl gave into her touch… She whispered to Penelope…

''Everything…I want everything…''

And there was that smirk from the other girl…

''Than take it…Take what you want Miss Saltzman… I'll do whatever you want me to…''

Josie dared to really take what she wanted from the other girl… They had sex in the library and it was hot, it was different and it was liberating experience for Josie. She was finally taking charge and taking what she wanted. Usually Penelope was the one that got things going and somehow she did it even now, but Josie believed it was all her. Before they parted ways, Penelope put her lacy thong in Josie's pocket and winked at her.

''Sweet dreams Miss Saltzman.''

That girl would be death of her…and she will love every moment of that. They both managed to sneak out of the library unnoticed and when they reached their room and apartment they let go of a breath they were holding. That was a good night… Better than good… It was an amazing night. Josie got Penelope's panties out of her pocket and laughed out loud… That girl could make her blush without even being in the room. They ended up hidden in her nightstand… like her favorite secret. She had to admit that Penelope's taste in lingerie was in tacked. La Perla all the way….just like it always was…

Penelope removed her shirt and skirt and put them in the wash bin. She couldn't use them for school until they were properly cleaned. She took a long shower and went back to bed that Josie got her from. Her simple nightgown felt like downgrade from the things she was in just few hours ago. She felt tired, sore and happy…and she loved that feeling.

Penelope's alarm went on and she went to take her morning shower. Brushing her teeth she realized Josie might have left few marks on her neck stomach and back of her neck. She would have to use magic to cover that. She was not sorry for the marks but she didn't want anyone to see. It was their secret something that belonged to them and that life out of classes.

In next few weeks, Penelope and Josei had pretty much double life. They really worked on covering their romance at school, but it was really challenging for Josie to watch boys and girls drool over Penelope. Yes, Penelope didn't do anything to make Josei doubt her fidelity or feelings, but sometimes she couldn't control it. They didn't argue or anything, but Josei felt a bit insecure. Caroline didn't like how much that romance with Penelope took over her daughter. She didn't want to do anything, but be with Penelope after school. Sometimes Penelope even did her homework at Josie's and usually spent weekends at her place. During the day they were teacher and student and in the night they were lovers mad about each other. It was Friday and Penelope had a small suitcase ready for after the classes. She and Josie would be spending the weekend out of Mystic Falls. They realized their entire relationship is based on hiding and sitting at Jose's place and that they needed to feel free, to go outside and act like couple out of four walls of Josie's home. They were leaving separately and Josie gave Penelope address and everything of the little B&B she rented for them. Penelope was excited to do that. She could only imagine being out with Josie and being free to hold hands and kiss in public. Finally to be free. Penelope didn't even change out of her uniform, she just left her books and run to the car. She had an hour drive to the place Josie marked for her. It was very small and sleepy town but she didn't care. She just wanted to be with Josie. She got to the room and Josie was already there. She left her bags and run into her girlfriend's arms.

''Hey…''

''Hey babe… How was the ride?''

''Too long… I couldn't wait to get here and just be with you.''

''Me too… I missed you P.''

''I missed you too…''

They kissed for few more moments and then Josie broke the kiss.

''What would you like to do?''

''Change and go for a walk… I want to hold your hand in public…and don't look over my shoulder.''

''Sounds like a plan.''

Penelope changed into Jeans, black shirt and coat and Jose sat on the bed and answered few emails.

''I'm ready.''

''Ok… Let's go P.''

They went for a walk and took many pictures. Penelope loved the city and really enjoyed. After some time they went for dinner to a small restaurant and enjoyed normal date. No one was looking at them. They were not teacher and student; they were two young women on a date. They got back to the room and got ready for bed. Josie suggested they watch a movie, but Penelope had other ideas. Josie loved that side of her. She was sometimes really that evil temptress she remembers from the school.

''You are bad Penelope Park…''

''I didn't come all the way here to watch movies with you Josie… I came to be the girlfriend…to have all of you without trying to be careful, using magic, looking over the shoulder… All of the above we do at home. I want to be crazy teenager in love with her girl and just enjoying life… I have Monday to start hiding again.''

''Ok… You are right…''

''I knew you would agree.''

Penelope turned off the light by the bed and turned on just the one in the bathroom. It was not complete dark, but it was enough to be sexy and fun. She took off her nightgown and straddled Josie's lap. She was very gentle and she really tried to make Josie enjoy the night to the fullest. After they were done, she spooned Josie. Josei closed her eyes to try to sleep. Penelope leaned over her and saw her eyes closed. She believed that the other girl was asleep. She kissed her neck, shoulder and got comfortable behind her.

''I love you…I am not ready to tell you that when you are awake, but I love you…And I am scared of that. You have no idea how long I waited for you…''

Her eyes flew open to the words she heard. She couldn't believe that was happening. Penelope loved her (again).For the first time since Penelope came back, Josie wanted to tell her about them. She felt guilty for hiding their past and she felt like she is taking advantage of Penelope somehow. Her lies might cost her that girl's love someday if she doesn't speak to her soon.

Next day Penelope noticed that Josie was a bit different. She had no idea what brought that change. She somehow couldn't look Penelope in the eye. She really had no idea what happened to cause such a change in Josei. They were in the room. Josie was sitting on the bed pretending to watch TV and Penelope was sitting in the window seat with a book.

''Are you ok?''

''I am… I am just…''

Penelope smiled at her…

''You are freaked out because you heard me say that I love you…''

Josie just looked at her.

''Maybe…''

''It's ok. You don't have to say it back.''

''But I do…Love you… I do very much…''

''So, what is the problem?''

''Now things will never be the same…''

''They get better?''

''Or worse.''

''Anything is possible. You know love is a risk…''

''I know…but…''

''But I am here… I am staying…Nothing will change that.''

''Penelope, we already went that way…''

She said too much… Penelope gave her a look. She got up from the window and left her book on the table. She took a seat by Josie and took her hand.

''Are you the same person you were six years ago Jojo?''


	12. Chapter 12

Josie just stared at Penelope now knowing what to say.

''Josie?''

''How?''

''How did I know?''

Josie just nodded…

''You have my ring around your neck. You were playing with it when we talked in my room that day you brought me from the hospital. Since that day, some things started to fall into places. You were different with me than with other students so I realized that students were not your ''thing'', so it had to be something related to me. You acted like you know me from the start. Some of the things in my room were outdated. One of the students told me that some girl lived in the room and that you fixed everting before I came back. That they saw you with boxes and stuff that were mine. Your family was not really acting like they were surprised to see me in your house for birthday… Things were just very clear.''

Penelope got off the bed and went to her suitcase. She got something out and turned to Josie. She recognized it as Penelope's diary.

''Where did you find it?''

''In the cottage in the woods. That explained a lot… There were some unsent letters to you and it made me somehow place all the puzzle pieces where they belonged…with a little magic I used to restore my memories.''

''You never said anything? Are you angry? Were you angry?''

''I can't say I was angry. I was confused and not sure what to do. We had those two days apart when you had some faculty things and I had some time to try to figure out how I feel about it all. I was trying to figure out what were you hiding from me so our story had to remain a secret? Did something really bad happen that could tear us apart again ? But when I got my memoires back I realized it was just you being too worried about everything. I am yours…as I was all those years ago.''

''I was scared how would you react if you knew we had past and you were out for six years because of me.''

''It was not because of you. It was because of me. I made that choice I picked to do it…and I would do it again…''

''You would?''

''JoJo… I love you… I would do anything for you.''

''I'm so sorry….''

Penelope held her and they both cried.

''Don't cry Josie… We have our entire lives ahead of us. I am back…and sixteen so I have few years more.''

That made Josie smile.

''Hey! It's just six years…''

''Top six baby…''

''I love you P.''

''I love you too baby…''

Penelope smirked at her.

''I know…''

''Shut up!''

''Let's go and have some lunch…and after that we can go somewhere for a ride.''

''Where?''

''Anywhere… I honestly don't care.''

''Ok Penelope.''

They freshened up and left the room. Josie still couldn't believe that talk happened. Penelope held her hand. She knew Josie would need some time to relax and get used to the fact that they were really ok when it comes to her and that she loves her for real. She noticed that Josie was still working in her head some sort of apology or excuse.

''Jojo, let it go.''

''How do you know?''

''I know you…I promise… We are ok…''

''I am not sure if I could be ok if I were you.''

Penelope made her stop.

''Do you love me?''

''Yes.''

''Did you miss me?''

''Yes…''

''Did you spend any time thinking about what would you do if you had a chance to fix us?''

''Yes…''

''We have chance to fix us… So… Let's do it. No going back and questioning things. I want to live here and now and I want to be happy with you… If we go back and dig in our past, we have every chance of making a mess for nothing.''

''I am scared.''

''Of what?''

''You changing your mind about me… You left me once.''

''Josie…you know why we broke up the first time…''

''And I don't know how you could be so cruel to me and torture me for months…. I love you Penelope.''

''Josie, are we really going down that road? Some things can't be unsaid Josie…Be careful…''

''You abandoned me and I really needed you.''

''And where were you for me Josie? Do you know what was happening in my life around our brake up?''

Josie was bit surprised by that question.

''What was happening?''

''A lot… I learned who my dad was.''

''What?''

''I had no idea you were even looking… That's my point Josie… YOU HAD NO IDEA ! You were too busy taking care of…other things and people… You never had time to really work on us.''

''If I was so bad, why did you die for me?''

''Because I love you , you idiot! Because I am not afraid of how I feel about you. I never was. But you shit your pants after we kissed and run to Hope…''

''And you let me!''

''Let you? I don't remember talking to you after that kiss. You avoided me as a plague. And why would I have anything to do with who you date? You choose someone else. Whoever was that new partner, you picked them baby…not me.''

''How could I know that you really loved me Penelope?''

''SO, it was easier to date someone else than to face me and feelings we had?''

Josie was silent.

''And let's address something we both know… If I haven't done what I did…You and me would have never gotten back together. You would have never had guts to tell me you love me. You had to see me die to face your feelings. I remember every word you told me before I kissed you Josie… I remember them well…''

With those words Penelope turned back and went to the room. She packed her things and left the place. She was putting her suitcase in the car when Josie came back.

''What are you doing?''

''Leaving.''

''Why?''

''Because I think we need some time to think and put things in prospective.''

''Penelope…''

''No, Josie… We do.''

''I love you….''

''You loved me before, but you dropped me like I was hot pan threatening to burn you.''

''What do we do now?''

''We give each other few days…''

''Penelope?''

''We have class on Monday. We can't avoid each other.''

''Ok…''

Josie came to the other girl and kissed her.

''That won't fix us.''

''I know, but I really needed to do it.''

''Ok. See you on Monday.''

Josie returned to the room and spent rest of the day in bed. She felt heartbroken again. She held Penelope's pillow close to her and cried. She was surprised when she heard the door open and saw Penelope return with her suitcase.

''P?''

''You are an idiot…But I would be even bigger idiot if I left now. I told you…we need to work on this…But I love you Jojo.''

She took her coat off and sat on the bed.

''What do we do Penelope?''

''Fight… Get it all out and then see what happens.''

''I don't want to be without you ever again.''

''I am here JoJo…''

Josie leaned into Penelope and put their foreheads together.

''I know… I am here too…I really am.''

They sat in silence for a few minutes and then Josie took her hand.

''I am not…''

''What?''

''I am not same person I was six years ago Penelope… Your absence changed a lot of things. Now I am ready to fight and tell off people who come in our way.''

''Ok… But , you know as well as I do that only people who can screw us up are two of us JoJo… No one else.''

'' I know P and I promise to work on us and fight for us too.''

''Good… Let's then start mending our relationship. ''

''How?''

''No sex until we are in a good place.''

Josie looked at Penelope surprised.

''Can you keep your hands off me P?''

''I'll manage.''

''Why no sex rule?''

''We need to keep focus on relationship. Our sex is amazing…but our communication sort of sucks… We still say and do hurtful things Josie.''

''You are right.''

''I am still leaving. But I didn't want to leave you upset and feeling bad. I do believe we have so many things to think of…And I don't want us to distract ourselves with sex. We need to fix us. And then we can do whatever we want.''

''Ok…''

''We will be ok JoJo… Just don't worry.''

''I love you…''

''I love you too…. Soo much… I never stopped…even when you were getting on my very last nerve and all…''

''You were worse than me.''

''Agree to disagree.''

''Fine… you stubborn ass..''

She kissed Josie and picked up her coat.

''See you on Monday…''

''Ok…I wish you didn't have to leave.''

''Me too, but it's for the best. After we have some time and space to think, we can make it better and figure out how to say things without hurting one another intentionally.''

''You are right.''

''I know…''

And with that Penelope left. Josie missed her, but she knew that she was right. They needed some space to think and figure things out. Especially now that things were in the open…


	13. Chapter 13

Sunday evening Josie came back to school and wondered what would happen now. What would she and Penelope do with the knowledge of both of them knowing the truth? She left her bag in the bedroom and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. He phone rung and it was Penelope.

''Hey…''

''I just saw you came back….''

''Yeh… I just got home…''

''Can I come?''

''Sure…''

Few minutes later, Penelope was at her door. She was in a Jeans and Josie's green shirt. Josie found it sort of sexy… She moved to let the other girl in and Penelope went straight to the sofa.

''Do you want something to drink? Eat?''

''No, I'm ok.''

Josie came to her and didn't know where to sit. She and Penelope were very nervous and it was evident. Penelope offered her hand and Josie took it and took a seat beside her. She also kissed Josie and smiled.

''Breathe… It's ok… We are ok…''

''I know…but it's not easy… I feel like we have some axe above our head.''

''Nice…''

''It's not…''

''I get it.''

Josie looked at the floor.

''Before you get a heart attack or die somehow more exotic, look at me.''

Josie lifted her gaze and Penelope cupped her face and kissed her. It was not soft or innocent kiss. It was pretty heated kiss. She broke it and held Josie's face in her hands.

''Josette Saltzman, I love you… I am in love with you and we will make it work. I promise. I am here, you are here and wherever this goes, we go together…Am I clear?''

Josie nodded.

''Are you a bit more calmed?''

''Maybe.''

''Good. I am glad… We can talk now.''

''Ok… What do you want to talk about?''

''Us. We are in a pickle here… It's not very usual situation.''

''I know…''

''And I have no idea how to act.''

''Me neither.''

''I want to work on us and make it even better than it was before.''

''Me too… But what do we do? I am your teacher now?''

''Do youw ant to keep it on the low until I graduate?''

''It's two more years…''

''I know…That is why we are talking.''

''But is it just to keep it a secret for two years?''

''We did date in secret for a year…and very few people knew.''

''What if it gets out?''

''We have evidence that I am not just a student and how far back we go JoJo. No one could question that. There are yearbooks, school papers that can place me at the same class as you.''

''That is true…''

''You are scared.''

''I just don't want to be without you again.''

''I know… I get it.''

''I love you Penelope Park and part of me died on that night…''

''I am sorry…But I am not sorry that you got to live and not merge with the…''

There was a deep breath.

''Lizzie.''

That made Josie smile.

''Two of you will never see eye to eye.''

''No…''

She leaned and pressed her forehead to Josie's.

''And we don't have to. I will be civil for you.''

''Thank you babe.''

''You are welcome and worth it…''

''I love you so much.''

They kissed again and it turned to very heated make out session. Josie broke the kiss and smirked at Penelope.

''Is the no sex rule still on?''

''Depends who is asking?''

'' A friend.''

''Oh, is it a hot friend? Do I know them?''

''Shut up Penelope!''

Penelope was in Josie's lap removing her shirt with a trademark Penelope Park smirk.

''Rules are there to be broken… For me to enjoy corrupting you and you blushing when you remember things you said, done or wished for.''

''I hate you…''

''I know...''

They kissed and Penelope broke the kiss.

''That last part sounded familiar.''

''It did.''

Josie got a bit sad. It reminded her of the birthday and night she believed she lost Penelope forever.

''Hey, JoJo… I am here.''

''But you were not… You were dead and gone.''

''But you have me here and now… And I am not going anywhere.''

They moved to the bedroom and it was one more amazing night for them. Josie finally felt like things were working out for them. She had HER Penelope back. The one who knew all the things that happened. There were no more secrets, not more lies and hiding behind vague stories.

Penelope was sitting in the bed and Josie was preparing them a bath.

''JoJo, now that the entire thruth is out, can I get all my stuff back?''

''What stuff?''

''The one missing. Letters ,pictures, diaries.''

''No…''

''Jojo…''

''It's not good idea to have that in the dorm.''

''Maybe you are right…''

''I am right…''

''But I just want them for a moment…''

Josie opened her secret part of the closet and gave huge box to Penelope.

''There, you have everything you asked for.''

She opened the box and had such a crazy blast from the past. Josie as a girl…Josie as her girl… Two of them kissing, two of them sitting with MG and some other people from the class. Notes they passed. There were even some notes they passed during the time they were not together. She was laugfing reading some of these things.

''What is it?''

''I was a mean person before?''

''No, you still are, but I am not on the receiving end.''

''That is true…''

''You were driving me mad Penelope Park.''

''All that sexual energy wasted…and zero hate sex happening.''

''I can't believe you just said that?!''

''You know I am right.''

''Yes…Maybe…. Why are we even talking about it?''

''Because it's fun to make you blush…''

''I really hate you.''

''I know JoJo…But that makes things even better.''

Penelope pulled her back to bed and undid her robe.

''I love you Jojo… And I love how you still are that cute shy girl…not matter how many years have passed.''

''I did change Penelope. I am not the same person I was then.''

'' I know. But I love glimpses of the Josie I fell in love with.''

''I guess that is also true. There are parts of me that are the same.''

''And I love them.''

''This still feels unreal.''

''I know… And I know that hamster in your head is still running.''

Josie smiled.

''You know me so good.''

Penelope got around Josie's neck and took off the chain with the ring. She took Jose's right arm and put it there.

''This is my promise to you that we will make it work and that I am not going anywhere…and if I do, you are coming with me.''

''I can work with that.''

''I know…''

They kissed and repeated to each other that they loved one another. Entire world was shut down, and it was just their time and place where they could love one another without any limitations.


	14. Chapter 14

On Saturday morning, Josie left Penelope in bed and went to see her dad. He invited her for breakfast and he wanted to talk about some things school related to her. Josie didn't want to wake Penelope, so she left her in bed. She hated leaving the warm bed and very naked Penelope, but work was work. They had many things to talk about and Rick had long list of things prepared for their little meeting. Aside from work things, he wanted to know how Josie was and what was going on with Penelope. He had no idea what to do first, be a dad or be the boss.

Hope unlocked the apartment door and went straight to the bedroom. There were still some of the things in Josei's apartment and she wanted to take advantage of her not being home to take them. She was surprised to find Penelope in her bed. She was sleeping on Josie's side of the bed and she was covered just over her bottom. The rest of her body was exposed. Hope froze from the sight. She didn't expect it. She knew there was some crazy chemistry, but had no idea they are together. Or at least having sex. Penelope woke up and she was also surprised to see Hope there.

''What are you doing here?''

''I could ask you the same Miss Park.''

''Drop the act… I remember.''

Hope was surprised.

''What?''

''My memories are back… I know who I am, who you are and who Josie is.''

''Oh…''

''Yes, that is close to what I felt when I learned what happened.''

''How is that possible?''

''Your dad is Klaus Michaelson, and mine is a Necromancer… I survived because I am his kid. He put a spell on me instead of taking my life.''

Hope was in shock.

''What?''

''Let me get dressed and I'll tell you everything.''

''I'll make coffee.''

''Better get out Josie's secret bourbon stash.''

''Now?''

''Yap! This is not the story for the sober moments.''

''Ok… I'll be in the living room.''

Hope got bottle and two glasses and Penelope put on her undies and Josie's robe. She was not sure where her entire ensemble from yesterday was. She joined Hope and took a seat on the sofa.

''Start from the top.''

''Ok… I had no idea who my dad was. My mom raised me alone and after her death I moved in with my fraternal grandmother. She never talked about my dad. So she told me she was a witch… She learned I have magic and that's how I learned about this school. I started going here, I met all of you and then she died. When she died, I found her letter telling me that my dad is a Necromancer. She told me what his powers were and she left me her emerald ring. That was the way he would know that I am his daughter. We met and started to get to know one another… He always had that damn hood over his face, but I grew to like him. He was smart, interesting and after some time I asked him for a fawor. I asked him to take my life in exchange for Josie's. He didn't want to. I learned there were two more creatures who could take my life for her and I told him I will seak them out if he doesn't do it. He said ok in the end.''

''Why would you do it Penelope?''

''I loved her… There was nothing I wouldn't do for her.''

''But…''

''She was with you?''

''Yes, she was with me and constantly saying she hates you and all.''

''I didn't care. I wanted her to live. I knew she had so many reasons to live… Even if she never comes back to me. I just wanted her to be happy and safe. I didn't want her to die for Lizzie… And part of me believed you could make her happy.''

''I never could compare to you.''

''She did care for you.''

''But she loved you Penelope… She was hit with that truth when you died. She was a shadow of herself.''

''I am sorry for that… But it was the only way to get rid of the curse and merge.''

Hope took a sip of the burbone.

''You know, I was so angry at you for doing it.''

''Why?''

''Because you did something that made her love you even more… I couldn't imagine someone loving someone that much as two of you love one another. You died for her and she lived to honor you. She had to empty your room and she moved pretty much everything in the storage or our closet. In the place i hid my wedding dress, she hid your things. I would find her sometimes with your cape. She would get it out of the closet and just smell it. She used your perfume and even got the same for herself. She didn't let you die during all these years… I was the affair she had.''

''I am sorry Hope.''

''It's not your fault. It was mine… I should have broken it off earlier.''

''I never meant to come back. I was supposed to wake up and continue my life somewhere else. But my dad picked this… And picked her to wake me up.''

''She was not happy without you.''

''Why? She had all of you…''

''She didn't have you. I think she would have traded you for all of us.''

Penelope gave her a very weak smile.

''I just wanted her to have the world.''

''Then give it to her now…''

''I will give my best.''

''Good… Now I have to pack remaining things. I left few things in the bedroom.''

''Ok.''

Hope went to pack and Penelope stayed in the living room. Josie arrived and found her reading on the sofa.

''You are awake?''

''Yes… How was it?''

''Boring… My dad worries too much. ''

''Josie took off her shoes and got on the sofa.

''I missed you babe.''

''I missed you too.''

She kissed Penelope and tried to untie her robe.

''That is not a good idea.''

''Why?''

''Hope is here… In the bedroom.''

''Oh…''

''Yes.''

''Why?''

''Packing remaining of her things.''

''Oh… Should I go and say hi?''

''Sure… I think it would be nice if you would.''

''Ok… I'll be right back.''

''Ok babe.''

Josie went to the bedroom and found Hope in the closet. She was packing last of her things.

''Hey…''

''Hey Jo…''

''I see you are finishing the pacing.''

''Yes, it's time you give her officially the closet.''

'"What?''

Hope's side was now completely empty. She walked to Josie's side of the closet and opened the secret part. She got out Penelope's uniform and cape and hung them on the opposite side.

''It's time for those things to be where they really belong.''

''Hope…''

''I know she got the memories back. We had an interesting talk. I found her naked in your bed…So we had to talk.''

''Oh…''

''Be careful Josie.''

''Of what?''

''Someone else finding out about two of you. Other students might not see it as something ok. She is a kid in the eyes of everyone else who has no idea about who she really is. You will be labeled as a teacher who sleeps with students.''

''Hope.''

''I am just warning you. Many will use this against you. End it until she is done with school.''

''I can't be without her for two more years!''

''You have to…''

''Why?''

''Because she will cost you your career. Imagine what parents would say if they learned. You will ruin the school too.''

''I will not.''

''Josie, I am warning you. End it until she is student in Salvatore school.''

With those words Hope left the apartment. Penelope didn't hear what they talked about but she felt the tension in the air. She knew Hope said something that hurt Josie. When she got into the bedroom, she found Josie sitting on the bed and lost in thoughts.

''Are you ok?''

Josie smiled at her and offered her hand to Penelope. She took it and Josie pulled her to stand in front of her. She put her arms around Penelope leaning her head on Penelope's stomach.

''I am now…''


	15. Chapter 15

Penelope was asleep at Josie's side and she couldn't sleep at all. She had to think about her life and choices she was about to make. Some things Hope said made sense. She was a teacher, Penelope was a student and they were having illicit relationship. They had to make some sacrifices to make it work and since Penelope was ready to die for her, now it was Josie's turn to do something about their situation. She got out of bed and turned on her computer. She sent her CV to few schools and waited for the answer. She knew that Mystic Falls high was looking for an English teacher and she hoped to get the job there. It would mean to her so much. If she is not working at school, she can be with Penelope. When she got back to bed Penelope cuddled up to her and kissed her back.

''I missed you Jojo…Where did you go?''

''I couldn't sleep…''

''You could have woken me up.''

''No, it was ok… You need to sleep and be fresh and ready for the cheer practice tomorrow.''

''How did I let you convince me to try out?''

''I have no idea… I think it has to do with your dirty mind.''

''My dirty mind?''

''Yes, Penelope… You are our resident dirty mind.''

''Not true.''

Josie just turned and gave her a look.

''Come on, try telling me that you don't have bunch of dirty toughts that include that uniform and me?''

''I could ask you the same Miss Saltzman…''

''I asked you first…''

''Ok… FINE… I DO!''

''Thank you for your candor Miss Park.''

Penelope woke up around seven in the morning and went to Josie's bathroom to take a shower. She got ready and went to the field. She was one of the first that came. She was early and just getting to know the other girls. She knew some of them, but two of them she didn't know from before.

''Hi, I am Penelope….''

''I am Sabrina and this is Leah.''

''Nice to meet you.''

They sat on the grass and talked about school and some other things until all of the girls arrived. Practice was fun. Penelope really liked it and she was glad Josie got her to be part of this. She got her uniform and she couldn't wait to wear it for Josie. After practice she went back to her room and left her things. She took a shower and finished homework she had. She needed a bit of rest. She had pretty intense night with Josei and then a two hour practice. Her body needed some rest. She woke up to her phone ringing. It was Josie.

''Hey Jojo…''

''What are you up to?''

''I wanted to take a nap… Why?''

''I hoped you would come to mine?''

''Can we nap?''

Josie smiled.

''Yes, we can…''

''Good. Let me get dressed.''

She put on her yoga pants, sports bra flats and black tunic that fell on her shoulders. Her hair was in a messy bun and she put on lip gloss Josie liked. She was at Josie's door few minutes later. She made sure no one sees her and now she was inside of her place. Josie shut the door before she kissed her or anything else happened.

''Hey babe… How was the practice?''

''Intense…''

''Really?''

''Yes…''

They settled on the sofa and Penelope got herself comfortable on top of Josie. They cuddled up together and Josie asked her about the practice. Penelope gave her very detailed story about what they did and she even told her she got her uniform.

''Oh, God! I am surprised you didn't show up in it.''

''I said I wanted to take a nap. I could use some rest woman… You must have had very boring sex life in those six years I was dead. You are insatiable.''

Josie hit her on the shoulder.

''It was pretty good, thank you very much. And make sure not to say that ever in front of Hope.''

''I will hurt her puppy dog feelings?''

''Penelope…''

''Fine… I will not say anything.''

''Ha! That would be the first.''

''I can keep my… comments to myself.''

''In what universe?''

''You'll see. I will not let her know I believe she was a bad lover.''

''God, do you ever stop?!''

''Not really.''

''I see.''

Penelope kissed her and got on top of her. She took off her tunic and threw it on the floor.

''What happened to taking a nap?''

''Nap can wait.''

''What will I do with you Penelope Park?''

''What do you want to do Miss Saltzman?''

''Everything I might say, you will misinterpret.''

''You are an English teacher… You should know all the words and ways to use them.''

''I do… But somehow, even after all these years, you leave me speechless.''

''Smooth… That is very smooth.''

They moved it to the bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon in bed making love and just being together. Penelope cuddled up to Josie and kissed her.

''I love you Jojo.''

''I love you too Penny..''

She fell asleep and Josie watched a movie. At some point she also fell asleep and she felt happy because she had Penelope in her arms. Penelope woke up and saw Lizzie, Rick and Caroline standing in front of them. Lizzie looked pissed. Penelope tried to wake up Josie.

''Jojo… Little Miss Sunshine is back with your parents.''

''Where…''

''Bottom of the bed.''

Josie opened her eyes and saw them standing there.

''What are you doing here?''

''Better question is what are you doing in bed with a student?''

'' You are right… She is ray of Sunshine…''

''Told you so…''

Lizzie had many words for what she saw and what she thinks might be happening. She started talking and Penelope just looked at Josie and then casted a spell to mute Lizzie.

''What a wonderful world…''

Josie smiled at her and saw that her parents are not happy about two of them and Penelope muting Lizzie. Josie unmuted Lizzie with a very sad face.

''I can't believe what she dared to do?!''

''Why? It's not like you didn't deserve it Elizabeth…''

Lizzie was taken back a bit. Penelope called her Elizabeth to tease her. She was the only person that could make her name sound like insult.

''Penelope?''

''One and only… ''

She turned to Josie.

''When did this happen? When did she remember?''

Josie looked at her sister and parents.

''Can you give us five minutes. Go to the living room and we will be there. They went and two women got dressed. Penelope noticed that her tunic was missing.

''It's in the living room… On the floor.''

''Go and get some of my shirts.''

''Ok..''

When they got back to the living room Carolone held her tunic in her hadn.

'' I believe it's yorus.''

''Thank you.''

Rick and Lizzie were very interested in what two of them had to say about all of this.

''So, when did she remember?''

''Long time ago…''

''Oh…''

''Yes…''

Rick and Caroline were surprised.

''You didn't mention she remembers things.''

''It never came up. Usually when we speak it turns into shouting match with you mom or dad's nagging.''

Penelope turned to Josie and took her hand.

''Do you want me to leave so you can all talk?''

''No, it's ok… You can stay. This is also something that has to do with you.''

Lizzie was confused by what was happening. She was not confused with them having sex. After finding them in bed together, it was clear what was happening. She had no idea what was happening out of that bed.

''Josie, what is going on with two of you? Is it some casual thing? A fling? What is it?''

''We are back together…''

Her parents were worried and Lizzie was in shock. She couldn't believe her sister would even think about getting back with her.

''What? Why?''

'' I love her and now she is back and we have no reason…''

''She is your student.''

''We will manage.''

''Josie…''

''What dad?''

''You can't date your student.''

''I know, that is why I am looking for a new job.''

That caught all of them of guard. Penelope had no idea about this.

''I don't want to hide anymore. If I don't work here, there is nothing preventing me from being with her.''

Caroline noticed Josie had a ring on her ring finger. She knew that ring was on her chain for years.

''What is with the ring on your finger?''

''It's a promise ring.''

''Promise of what?''

''Future together…''

''You are giving up the future Josie.''

''How?''

''By quitting the job…''

''I am looking for new job to be with her.''

''And if you don't find it?''

''I will get any job just to be with her.''

Caroline didn't like it.

''But you are giving up your future.''

''She gave up her life for me! Me quitting a stupid job doesn't even compare.''

None of them could argue with that. She did give her life for Josie.

''I just don't want you to regret it.''

''How can I mom? I got her back… She is worth every sacrifice I have to make for us to be together. Even moving out from the campus if it becomes necessary.''

All four of them stood and looked at Josie very surprised. None of them saw this coming. Especially Saltzmans and Caroline. Penelope knew that Josie would not give up on them now so she expected some changes in their lives.


	16. Chapter 16

In next few days Josie was having job interweaves and thinking about her options. She did love teaching at school, but she loved Penelope more. Offer she choose to pick was a creative writing and she would assist an English professor in his work at college close by. She loved creative writing and liberty it gives. She signed her contract and she even got the option to live on campus. Downside of that arrangement would be forty minutes ride from school to her house. Penelope and her would have to be very practical with their time together. She would be starting next week and she now had to inform her dad about leaving and she felt a bit sad. She arrived home and got the bourbon out of the stash. She called Hope to come and told her they have to talk. Hope arrived soon and Josie let her in.

''What happened?''

''You can move back if you want.''

''What?''

''I am moving out.''

''Why?''

''I got a job.''

''What?''

''You all kept saying that I can't be with Penelope and teach in this school... So, I found a job and I am moving out from the campus. That way we can date and it'a all ok.''

''Josie…''

''What Hope?''

''Is it worth it?''

''It is to me…. She is worth everything to me… It will be hard to leave the work, but I love her Hope. If I have to pick between school and this thing with her, I pick Penelope. I am not making the same mistake again. I pick her…as she picked me…every time.''

''Ok….''

Josie handed Hope her official resignation and Hope put it in her coat.

''Did you talk to your mom and dad?''

''No, not yet.''

''Will you tell them or you want me to?''

''I'll do it… I need to have this talk with all of them.''

Lizzie was staying with them for few more days and Josie took this a as a good opportunity to talk to her parents and sister. She invited them over for dinner and they had no idea what was the call abut. Caroline helped with the table and Rick and Lizzie were waiting for them to get the food on the table.

''Honey, why did you asked us to come?''

''I have to talk to you about something. I am leaving…''

It took her dad by surprise. Caroline guessed it might be the reason for this invitation.

''What?''

''I got the job at college.''

''When?''

''Today… I am starting on Monday. I signed the contract and all.''

''Why are you leaving?''

''To be with Penelope. If I leave she is not my student anymore.''

Lizzie looked angry.

''I can't believe you Josei… This school gave you everything and you are just leaving?!''

''You did too…''

''It's different… I never made any commitment to dad, to school to Hope. You all knew I would leave.''

''Well, now I am leaving too…''

''I can't believe you.''

''Well, believe it.''

Rick just looked at his daughter.

''Is that what you really want?''

''Yes.''

''Ok then… If that's the thing you want, I will not be in your way… I want you to be happy…''

''Thank you dad.''

He hugged her and wiped his tears.

''I will miss you honey.''

''I will miss you too dad.''

She turned to her mom and waited for her to say something. Caroline just sat silent and tried to figure out what to say to Josie.

''Mom?''

''Yes, honey?''

''You are not saying anything.''

''There is nothing to say. It's your life honey… It's your choice.''

Lizzie got up angry.

''You are not going to say anything?! You will let her ruin her life over Penelope Park?''

''Lizzie it's not up to us. She is old enough to make her own choices.''

''It doesn't look like that. She is doing something wrong and you are letting her.''

Josie got up and got to Lizzie.

''Shame on you!''

''What?''

''Shame on you Lizzie! I am giving it all up for Penelope? Is that the problem? Penelope of it all?''

''You know what I want to say?!''

''I do… You hate her so much that you don't care that she makes me happy…. You never did… All these years Penelope was right about you… If it's not all about Lizzie, it's not important… As long as I do what you want, you are happy… I am done Lizzie… I am done being unhappy. I am finally happy with her back.''

''Why?''

''I love her! I loved her all along!''

''But she is…''

''I will not listen to this! I am not sixteen anymore! You have your own life, so live it Lizzie. Leave me alone and let me live my life as I believe I should. I am happy with Penelope and until we can be together in the open, this is the solution for us. I am leaving the school and getting a new beginning. Fresh start away from here and all.''

''Away from us…''

''Lizzie.''

''What Josie?! All of the sudden dad, school and the rest of us is not good enough?''

''You live in LA… And mom and dad can always come and visit. I would visit too…''

Lizzie didn't like this. She didn't like Penelope being back and all the changes.

''Mom? Dad?''

''Lizzie, it's not up to us.''

She picked up her things and left the apartment. She was really pissed. She went into the school and went upstairs to find Penelope. She got into her room and froze. It looked just the same as it did all those years ago. Penelope was not there, but Hope showed up and found her standing there.

''Lizzie? What are you doing here?''

''I was looking for Satan. She has a lot of explaining to do.''

''What happened?''

''Josie is leaving the school.''

''Oh, she told you?''

''You knew?''

''I found out few hours before you all did.''

''And you are ok with it?''

''I don't know what you want me to say or do?''

''She is leaving school for Penelope!''

''She loves her…''

''Why?''

''I think none of us has answer to that for about ten years.''

That got a small smile to form on Lizzie's mouth.

''I can't believe it has been so long… In those ten years I loved so many people.''

''And she only loved her…''

Hope got to Penelope's shelf and picked up a photo of her and Josie. They were sitting on the sea sore and the picture was taken from the back so no one could suspect it was Josie. They were in bridesmaids dresses and their hair was down cascading in locks down their backs. Penelope's head was on Josie's shoulder and Josie's was on Penelope's head. It was taken during the wedding they went to together. MG took the picture.

''We were all asleep and they sat on the beach and just talked and kissed. I remember that morning. I woke up at five and wanted to run. I saw them sitting there and just being close. I was so jealous of them having that connection. It was before I developed feelings for Josie… I just couldn't take my eyes of them.''

''Ten years in love with Penelope…''

''Yes, Lizzie… Ten years.''

Lizzie took a seat on Penelope's window and looked at it. There was small caving of their initials and date they started dating. She traced it with her finger and looked at Hope.

''How do I get ok with them?''

''I don't know… But I know that this time you have to. She is not giving Penelope up ever again… Not even for you.''

''You also see me as a villain?''

''I don't… I just think that you were not that good person in the past. You were too possessive of Josie…''

''She is my sister…''

''And a person too… She has her needs, wants that are not related to you…. You have to let her go now… It's time… She needs her freedom.''

''If I don't accept this, I will lose her?''

''Yes.''

''Wow! Way to soften the blow…''

''I didn't realize that I had to.. You have to realize what is happening… She will pick her now over everything because she never dared to pick her before and she was miserable.''

''She cared about you.''

''She did… But I was never Penelope… She cared, but she didn't love me.''

''I am sorry…''

''And so am I.''

Penelope got to her room and found Hope and Lizzie in it.

''This is the sight I never expected to see… What can I do for you?''

Hope got up and gave Lizzie a look to behave.

''I came to talk to you Penelope.''

Penelope took a seat on her bed and waited for Lizzie to speak.

''I am listening.''

''Josie is leaving the school.''

'"What?''

''She is doing it to be with you.''

Penelope was ready to tell a lot of things to Lizzie, but Lizzie continued speaking.

''Be good to her… Love her and be there for her. She will need you for this transition. Don't make her regret this.''

And with that she left the room.


	17. Chapter 17

After Lizzie left, Penelope was left to process the information about Josie leaving the school. She had very mixed feelings about this. She was happy she and Josie could have much more freedom to see one another, but she will be gone… She will be far from her… There would be no more sneaking out to see her and sneaking out from her place. She changed into her jeans and shirt and went to see Josie. Josie started packing and she was surprised to hear someone at the door. She opened and saw Penelope. By her face, she knew that Penelope was aware of her leaving the school. She let her in and closed the door. Penelope took a seat on the sofa and looked around. She noticed empty boxes and some things already packed.

''I heard the news.''

''Who told you?''

''Lizzie… She came to tell me to be good to you and not to make you regret leaving the job and all for me.''

''Wow!''

''If I knew better, I would have said it looked as a blessing.''

''Wow!''

''I know… I keep waiting for something to happen… Like flower pot falling on my head or something…''

Josie smiled at that.

''Baby…''

Josie took a seat beside her and Penelope kissed her.

'"I will miss you Jojo… I will miss you so much.''

''I know, but this way we have more space to see one another and no one will point fingers if I don't teach here.''

''Baby, everyone will point the finger when they find out… It has nothing to do with where do you teach. We will have to face a lot of backlash when it comes out.''

''Are you scared P?''

''No… I don't care. I can deal with that.''

Josie gave her a sad smile.

''Why do we always have to have it hard way?''

''So we would know how worth it is.''

Josie smiled at Penelope and kissed tip of her nose.

''I love you…''

''I love you too Jojo…''

Penelope looked around and smiled.

''Do you need some help?''

''Sure…''

Josie and Penelope spent some time packing and labeling things and it was time for Penelope to go back to her dorm.

''I must go now. I have to get there before ten.''

''I know … See you tomorrow in class...''

Penelope returned to her room and got ready for bed. She was feeling sad that Josie was leaving. She knew it was for the best, but it didn't stop her from feeling very bad about it all. Next day she didn't want to go to class and hear Josie tell others about her leaving. She didn't want to show how hard it is for her to say good bye to her. She delayed going to class as much as she could. She got into the classroom at the moment the bell rung. She took her seat and she watched Josie prepare to tell the other students her sad news. She saw on Josie's face that she was very sad and that it was very hard for her to say good bye to the students and this school. She gave them beautiful speech and told them that she believes in all of them and that she wants them to keep the magic in them alive and to have a lot of fun at school and in life. Entire class was sad. They had three more days together and then she would be gone. Penelope was silent and barely looking at Josie. She knew she had to keep her eyes off her because she would cry. She was not taking this well. In next few days, she was spending afternoons at Josie's house helping her pack. On Saturday morning she was in her car on the way to Josie's new house. It was cozy, small and she really loved hot the outside looked. It looked like small cottage somewhere in the woods. It reminded her a bit of the one on the Salvatore estate where she and Josie spent a lot of time during their relationship in high school. It had two bedrooms and the living room was very nice and full of light. On the fireplace mantle there was space for pictures and other things Josie loved. Rick and Caroline helped with boxes, but entire unpacking was something that Josie wanted to do alone with Penelope. They started with the bedroom so Josie would have somewhere to sleep. It was nice and cozy and Penelope started with cleaning the room. She wiped every shelf and floors and let it dry. Until it was drying, she got all the bedroom boxes in the small hallway in front of it. She was bringing box by box and unpacking it. She made the bed, got all the pillows out and all the small things she and Josie loved. She placed candles on the nightstands, Few of their pictures were on the shelves and some of Josie's favorite books found their way in the bedroom. She unpacked Josie's clothes and placed them in the closet and dresser. After she was done with that, she took care of Josie's bedroom bathroom and placed all the products they used at their places. She even hung her robe in the bathroom and placed her tooth brush by Josie's. This was supposed to be their little home away from home (that was school ). Josie took care of the kitchen and the living room. She cleaned the fridge and cupboards and made a list of all the things she might need to buy. She was writing the list when she felt arms around her and Penelope's head on her back.

''Hey babe… How are you doing?''

''I am done… Bedroom and bathroom are ready.''

''Thank you love…''

''And how is your part going?''

''Not so good. Maybe we should hit the stores before they close. We have entire day tomorrow to finish unpacking. Maybe even call the parents to help.''

''Whatever you want Jojo…''

She showed Penelope the list of things they needed to buy and Penelope took Josie's keys from the table.

''Let's go babe.''

They got into the car and started with Target. Penelope and Josie loved that store and could spend fortune there. They got everything that was on the list and some more. Penelope got her to buy few more towels, rags, mops, cleaning supplies. Josie looked at their cart and started laughing.

''Look at us… How domesticated we are. All sorts of detergents, things for kitchen, things for living room… Some fake plants…''

''I know… It's horrible…''

''I agree…''

Penelope smiled.

''But we are fixing your home Jojo…''

''Our home Peez.''

Penelope made very serious face.

''It's not ours yet… But it's the closest to home we have. I will agree on that…''

''Are you angry at me for leaving?''

''No, I am just sad… I don't want to think about the time without you.''

''But we will have weekends.''

''I know, but it's not the same.''

''We will make it baby, I promise. Penelope, I am not going anywhere.''

She kissed Josie and smiled.

''I know.''

They got some groceries too on the way back to the house. Penelope knew Josie was never big on buying food or cooking , so she made sure to put everything she knew Josie needed in the cart. Josie just smiled and rolled her eyes at the other girl.

''It looks like I would be feeding an army.''

''No, it's a food for a week. I know you Josette Saltzman… You will skip meals because you are too lazy to cook. So I will cook for you tomorrow and put it in the freezer. I got enough of those small containers to cook and freeze it all for you.''

''Baby, you treat me like a kid.''

''You are a kid when it comes to food. You are too lazy to cook for yourself. That's why I will make you food that you just have to reheat in the microwave. Then you have a meal ready in under twenty minutes.''

''Thank you baby.''

''You are welcome.''

They got back and Penelope started getting things into the house. She took the groceries in and put them on the kitchen counter. She went out to help Josie and found her talking so a neighbor. He was cute, he looked fun and from what Penelope saw, he liked Josie. She couldn't really get out of the house and say something because she had no idea who it was and how it would influence Josie's job. She knew it would be wise to keep their thing on the low and not be very visible. She and Josei had to be careful around the staff and feel the pulse of the faculty before they make their relationship public to them.

Neighbor offered his help too, but Josie said no. She knew she had to protect herself and Penelope from too curious people on campus until. She was there to teach, not show off her love life. She didn't want the other girl to feel jealous or that she is trying to hide her. When he left Josie came back to the house and found Penelope cutting vegetables fro dinner.

''I really don't like him.''

''He is one of the deans.''

''What?''

''Yes… He is young and in power. Women dig it… That's he is the lady's men here on campus..''

''And now he wants you.''

''He has no chance with me. I promise.''

''I believe you Jojo.''

They worked for few more hours and then they left to sleep. First night in new bed was good. They got new mattress and all was new. It was nice, comfortable and Penelope felt like she was sleeping on the cloud. In the morning, Josie woke up first and went to the kitchen to start the coffee and make some French toast. Penelope was woken up by the smell of the food. She got up and went to the kitchen.

''Good morning babe…''

''Good morning Jojo…''

''I see you smelled the food.''

''I did… And I got worried if there were some body snatchers.''

''I do cook sometimes.''

''I can barely remember.''

''Hey!''

''I am joking.''

''I know…''

After they finished breakfast they went back to unpacking. By six in the afternoon, Josie's house was unpacked and ready for use. She loved how it looked and how she and Penelope made it feel like home. Around eight in the evening it was time for Penelope to go back to school. Josie was sad she was leaving and so was Penelope.

''I had an amazing weekend with you Peez.''

''Me too…''

''I can't wait for the next weekend.''

'' Me too Jojo…''

Josie took her hand and held it.

''Don't do stupid things at school.''

''I would never!''

''Penelope Park, I went to school with you… I REMEMBER what you did.''

''I have no idea what you are talking about.''

''That's what I was afraid for.''

''Don't worry Jojo… I will manage. But I will miss you a lot.''

''I will miss you too.''

They kissed and it was time for Penelope to drive back to the school. When Josie closed the door after her, she felt so lonely but in a weird was also at peace. She could date her now. It was not that big deal now. She and Penelope would find a way…they always do.


	18. Chapter 18

Two years later

Penelope was getting ready to graduate. She was excited for it because it meant that she and Josie can finally be together in the open. She was finally ready to leave this school and be with Josie all the time. These two years were very difficult for them because they spent so much time hiding and pretty much limited to Josie's house. There were some close calls where they almost got caught, but somehow they managed to keep it a secret. Many kids at school tried to ask Penelope out and get her to accept at least one date but she was very firm that she doesn't want to go out. Hope also spent at least six months watching Penelope surrounded by boys and girls who wanted her. She kept them all at distance and she did all she could to show them that she is not interested. She started to admire Penelope for such a blind fidelity to Josie. Josie lived forty minutes away, she was surrounded by beautiful young men and women and Penelope really trusted her and kept others at distance. They must have really loved one another to put up with all this. She and Penelope sort of started having ok relationship. It did take Hope some time to get over Josie and get over what she wanted from their relationship, but as soon as she did that, she managed to be friends with Penelope again. It was never like it was before Hope and Josie dated, but they were going in a good direction. Hope was dating Mr. Williams, new Philosophy teacher and they were working out good. It was still very new but she liked him. She believed he could help her get over Josie and all that happened.

Josie started coming home more often and spending time with her parents. Sometimes it was just three of them and sometimes Penelope would join them. She and Josie managed to leave for the entire summer and spend it together at the Saltzman lake house. They didn't want to risk getting caught and anyone knowing where they were together. Penelope still had entire school year ahead of her so every measure they had to take to make sure they are safe, they took. Penelope's friends were interested in her love life, but she said nothing. She just said there is someone she likes, but it will take time. For some reason, they never asked more about the mysterious person. They waited for her to come and tell them about it.

Josie was ready to go back to school now that Penelope will not be a student anymore. She started bringing things slowly back to her old place, but this time she was not the only one bringing stuff to the apartment. Penelope's boxes and things were slowly filling in the space of the apartment. She and Josie were finally getting their home ready and they were sure this is what they wanted. Rick was happy that Josie was coming back, but he was a bit worried how the rest of the students would see now the relationship between Josie and Penelope. Apartment was fixed and Penelope was almost moved in. Most of her everyday clothes were already in Josie's place and in her dorm she kept uniforms and some clothes for the time when she was not obliged to be in uniform. Penelope's eighteenth (24th) birthday was getting close and Josie made her small dinner where she invited her parents, Hope and MG and Lizzie. Hope was feeling a bit weird getting into the apartment. She and Josie lived there for some time and now it was clear that this place was something she shared with Penelope. Some of Penelope's books were on the shelves, some of their pictures were there too. In bedroom on the side of the closet that used to be hers, there were Penelope's things. Entire bedroom looked different. Bedspread was darker, there were more pillows, there was Penelope's robe in Josie's bathroom, stuff she used for hair and shampoo. Hope somehow felt erased from Josie's life and that place like she never lived there or helped Josie arrange things around it. She was a bit hurt by it but she picked to put that aside. Biggest surprise was that Lizzie came. She believed her sister would not show up since it was Penelope. She did sort of give her blessing to them, but she was still not sure if it was the right choice for Josie. Lizzie was glad that Josie came back to school, but she was still scared about her career. Josie made sure that everything is perfect and arranged the table to look like it was for the magazine photoshoot. She prepared everything and now it was time for Penelope to arrive. She was dressed in a beautiful black dress with embroiled roses and a lot of tulle. It looked like it was made in the sixties, but she looked very sexy in it. She had shoes in the same color as roses were and her hair was up. Caroline welcomed her into the apartment since Josie was in the kitchen finishing the food.

''Good evening Penelope! Happy birthday…''

''Thank you Ms. Forbes.''

''I think that out of school Caroline is ok.''

Rick was next to congratulate her.

''Happy birthday Penelope.''

''Thank you Dr. Saltzman.''

Hope and Lizzie were next. That was very awkward but all three of them made it. Josie got out of the kitchen and smiled.

''Happy birthday babe…''

''Thank you Jojo…''

She pulled her into a kiss and the rest of the family felt a bit weird. In their eyes Penelope was still a kid.

''Let's get to the table and start our dinner.''

Josie poured wine to all of them and Caroline got the food on the table. Penelope helped with serving dinner and Josie smiled at her.

''Babe, it's your birthday… You shouldn't be serving.''

''I wanted to help you… And steel a moment without your family.''

''Why?''

''For this.''

She took plates from Josie's hands and placed them on the counter. She pushed Josie against the wall and kissed her like she really wanted, but couldn't in front of the family. They were kissing in the kitchen until they were interrupted by Caroline.

''Oh, I'm sorry… I just came to get the plates.''

''Sorry mom..''

She smiled and took the plates and left.

''My mom caught us making out… This is so high school…''

''Well, some of us are still in high school…so it's ok…''

''Oh, God…''

She gave Josie small peck on the lips and smiled.

''I love you Jojo…'

''I love you too P…''

They got to the table and started eating with the rest of the guests. Alaric was the first to start the talk.

''So, what happens after school?''

''College… I got in into few of them, but I will stay close to Mystic Falls so I can be with Josie... I am starting pre-med classes. So, it's plan for the future.''

Alaric smiled at her.

''A doctor? Josie's mom was a doctor…''

''I know… I remember she mentioned it long time ago… ''

They finished the dinner and Caroline and Lizzie helped Josie clear out the table… After they were done, Josie got the cake out. She was the one to make Penelope's cake from memory. They used to make it together whenever something important was happening in their lives. She used a bit of magic to make it perfect, but the intention was there. She put on the candles and Penelope blew her 18 and 24 candles.

''Make a wish babe…''

Penelope closed her eyes and made a wish. She opened her eyes and blew the candles. Caroline cut the cake and gave first slice to Penelope. She tried it and smiled.

''It's amazing Jojo… ''

''Thank you P.''

They sat together and shared Penelope's cake. Caroline and Rick were glad that Josie was so happy and smiled as much as she did. Lizzie joined them and they all watched them.

''I will never get it… I will never get it how could someone Like Penelope make her so happy.''

''Love is blind Lizzie.''

''Hers is too blind if you ask me.''

Caroline smiled at her daughter.

''I've never seen her as happy as she is with Penelope… Even before… Penelope was all she's ever seen.''

''I know… It was always about her… Like everything in Josie's world revolves around her.''

''It's cute…And sad.''

''I know.''

Lizzie picked up the presents and got them to the table where Penelope and Josie were sitting.

''It's time to open your presents.''

Penelope smiled and started with Rick's. It was a beautiful pair of earrings. Penelope really loved them. She loved jewelry that looked a bit antique.

''They belonged to Joe.''

Josie and Lizzie looked at their dad a bit surprised. Josie wiped small tear off her cheek.

''You gave Penelope mom's earrings?''

''Yes…. She is important to you, so I guess she deserves something important as a present.''

Penelope was really touched.

''Thank you so much… It means a lot.''

''Just take care of them…''

''I will… I promise.''

Lizzie's present was perfume she knew Penelope loved. Hope got her a book and Caroline got her a red dress for graduation. Now it was Josie's turn. Her present was not on the table. Lizzie looked around.

''Your present is missing Jo.''

''I know.. It's something personal I would love to give it to Penelope when we are alone.''

Lizzie smirked.

''Bad girl… Is that some lingerie you got youref?''

Josie and Penelope rolled their eyes at Lizzie.

''No, it's nothing sexual…''

Lizzie decided to tease some more.

''Now Penelope will be disappointed.''

''Lizzie… Stop it… You know I would love any gift you give me Jojo… No matter what it is…''

''I know… You kept that stupid riddle box I made you…''

''It was not stupid. I really loved it.''

Lizzie was curious now.

''What is the present then?''

''My diary….''

''What?''

''I started a new diary few days before you…and I kept it for years after that… I wrote to you every day.''

''You did?''

''Yes… Sometimes it was just few words…Sometimes it went for pages…''

''I love it.''

Josie got up from the sofa and went to the bedroom. She got a pretty thick book to Penelope and she opened it. First entry was few days before her… _death_? Lizzie was courious…

''Read some of it to us.''

''I don't think it's appropriate…''

''Come on Penelope…''

She turned to Josie who just shrugged her shoulders.

''It has been so long… Even I don't remember every word in it.''

 _Hate is too nice word to describe how I feel for her. She made my blood boil again just by showing up out of nowhere and solving my problem in less than a minute. Why does she have to show up and do that? Why can't she keep to her own? I felt my skin was on fire when she touched me… I HATE PENELOPE PARK!_

''I remember this… Oh, you were so cute Jojo…''

''I was not… I was angry…''

Next one was her day when Penelope kissed her.

 _She kissed me! Why did she do it? What game is she playing? I told her in her face how much I hate her and how my life would be better without her and then she kissed me. She is insane…. I am with someone… I am not single anymore… I know she did it just to mess with my head… She is messing with me because…that's the only reasonable thing to think. Penelope Park is playing a game. It's all a game to her. She is not capable to love anyone… How can she… She is cold hearted snake who loves only herself…_

…

 _I can't stop thinking about her… All I can think of is her and how good we had it… I can't get out of my head how much I love her and need her. STOP IT JOSIE! SHE HAS NO RIGHT TO BE IN YOUR LIFE! Lizzie went out and I got out my Penelope box and found all of the letters and stuff from her… I can't believe she loved me that much and just stopped overnight. I keep remembering good things…nice things… Memories are tricky… They are all over me and I can't fight the feeling anymore. I need her… I need Penelope to be happy and I can't have her. She is… She doesn't care about anyone but herself…. AND I AM NOT SINGLE. I MUST REMIND MYSLEF THAT I AM NOT SINGLE._

… _._

 _My hunger for Penelope had to be killed somehow… This time it was in Hope's bed. It was…nice… She is nice but it was not Penelope… God, what I would give now for one more night with her… Just one more and I would be ok… I hate her for making me feel all the things she does… She still has power over me. I feel her without even turning to face her. I know when she is in the room and when she leaves. I keep having dreams about her. I just hope that Lizzie and Hope never learn what is the cause of my sudden waking up in the night. They believe I have nightmares…but I keep having dreams of Penelope….maybe those are nightmares too?_

Penelope stopped reading and gave side eye to Josie…

''Bad Jojo!''

''Shut up!''

Next thing she randomly opened was her eighteenth birthday….or what was supposed to be Penelope's birthday.

 _It's Saturday morning… Today you would be eighteen. We had so many ideas how to celebrate that day, including your favorite to stay locked up in you room for the day. When you suggested it I blushed like crazy, but now I would give the world to spend a day like that with you. You told me that you don't need anything but me next to you. I thought it was cheesy and very romantic and I was secretly imagining that day ever since we spoke about it. But unfortunately, day started in a much different manner. Lizzie got very drunk last night so I woke up to her snoring, instead of your warm kisses on my neck and back and all the things we did during our quiet mornings. I miss being with you Penny… Some new monster came, so my dad and Hope went out of the city to chaise the trail they got. I was never more grateful for disaster than today. I really needed this day to be ours Penny… I am sitting at the place that was supposed to be your grave and writing my diary. I am dreaming of my more often than ever. I keep dreaming that you came for me. You look very beautiful… You are not in the purple dress you were in on my birthday… You are in an emerald green dress looking so beautiful and happy. I keep asking you to take me with you, but you just smile… Like you can't hear me, but just see. I am not happy babe… I wish I was with you… I found in some old books how to mix herbs and see you…So I do it… Almost every weekend I go to our spot and take it. It makes it feel so real. I could have sworn that I was with you every time I took it. But then I stopped. Miss. Luis started doubting that some of the students are using her herbs to get high. I had to stop or else… You know it wouldn't end ok. I keep wishing I was dead more often than before. MG stopped me from…._

Penelope stopped reading and turned to Josei.

''Jojo…''

She knew all eyes were on her now… Penelope reading her diary was a mistake.

''What did you do Jojo?''

Josie was silent and then she just looked at Penelope…

''I took some pills with alcohol… MG found me and he forced me to take his blood to get better…''

Caroline and Lizzie looked at Josie in shock.

''Why would you do it?''

Josie looked at them and then turned to Penelope.

''I felt I had nothing to live for…''

Penelope took her hand. Her dad was worried about her. He had no idea Josie was that depressed and unwell. He looked at her with so much fear and worry.

''When did that feeling stop Josie?''

''When Penelope came back… I always had that somewhere in the back of my mind. I just didn't do anything about it ever again. When Penelope came back it felt like I got reason to live and reason to feel something more than pain and emptiness.''

After Josie said that all she could hear was the door slamming and Hope was not there anymore.


	19. Chapter 19

*WARNING * **This chapter deals with death, self-harm and thinking of death**

Soon after Hope, the rest of the family left too. Josie and Penelope were alone again. Penelope placed Josie's diary on the coffee table and took her hands.

''Jojo, I am sorry… I had no idea you would take my death so hard… If I'd known…I would have never done any of that. I would have tried to find different solution to this merge stuff and stayed in your life any way you would have had me.''

''It's not your fault… Let's face it… I would have never had courage to go back to you. You doing that was a wakeup call for me. If you stayed alive, I would have probably married Hope already trying to forget you.''

''Jojo…Baby…''

''You know I am right''

''I know… You are stubborn…''

''And so are you…'

''Maybe just a little bit…''

Penelope winked at her and Josie just rolled her eyes at her. Penelope pulled her in for a kiss and it was a sweet and long kiss.

''Jojo, promise me… Promise me that if you ever start thinking about killing yourself you will look for help and talk to me.''

''Penelope…''

''Reading that…and hearing what you said about MG finding you….It broke my heart Jojo…It broke my heart and made me so sad to know that I screwed you up so bad.''

''I did it myself too…''

''I am back, but I think you need to talk to Emma or someone else.''

''Talk?''

''Yes, you have to work on those issues.''

''Ok, I'll talk to her…''

''Good, now go and talk to Hope.''

Josie was confused by this comment.

''Hope?''

''Yes, you have to talk to her. She just hat to hear that her girlfriend wanted to kill herself during their entire relationship and that return of the ex-girlfriend made her change her mind. You were engaged for some time and you just said that she was not enough for you to even think about staying alive.''

''Penelope…''

''I know, but you must talk to her. She has to know it's not her fault.''

''Her fault?''

''Yes, I think she believes now that she was not enough for you to even think about staying alive.''

''But I never tried again….''

Penelope looked at Josie and for the first time after very long time Josie in her eyes saw something she haven't seen in a long time. It was sort of warning where Penelope wanted the truth…

''You didn't stay alive because you wanted to live or had something to live for… You stayed alive because you didn't want to get disappointed by being saved again.''

And Josie froze…. Penelope saw it in her… She saw that death was her hope and she feared someone would take it away from her again.

''You were disappointed MG saved you and helped you.''

Josie didn't say anything. She all of the sudden got up and started picking up plates from the cake and glasses. And Penelope gave her a minute to process what she just said and how she feels about Penelope's observation. Josie decided to pretend their conversation never happened.

''Are you staying or going back to the dorm?''

''What do you want me to do?''

''It's up to you P…. If you want to stay you know I am always up for it.''

''Josie…will we finish this conversation?''

''There is no need for that.''

''Josie….''

''Penelope…''

''Please Jojo… Talk to me…''

''What do you want me to say?''

''What is on your mind?''

''You are judging me…''

''I don't judge you…''

''Yes, you do… You think I am weak for wanting to die.''

''I would never.''

''I can see it in your eyes.''

Penelope got up from the sofa and just gave Josie very sad and hurt look.

''I would never judge you… I wanted to die for you…so you can live… So don't you dare put words in my mouth Josie!''

''And I died too! I died with you that night! I was buried with you next morning! So, don't you dare tell me anything Penelope! I died the same night you did… What stayed in this life was a shell of the person who loved you, do don't talk to me about staying alive or fear of being disappointed of being live…''

''Jojo…Come here…''

Penelope took the plates and glasses from her and placed them on the table.

''I love you… I am here and I am not judging you… I could never.''

''It sure sounded like you did… You have no idea how it felt.''

''And I probably never will… But I think that me coming back got on the surface some emotions that you wanted to keep buried. I think you should try to talk to someone and work on them.''

''You think I want to die again?''

''No, but I am sure you didn't deal with my death in a right way…''

Josie didn't want to argue.

''Can we not talk about it now?''

''Sure…''

''Good…''

''What do you want to talk about Jojo?''

''I don't want to talk. I want us to go to my bedroom and spend the remaining of the nigtht not talking but being more productive…''

''Oh… ''

''Yes….''

Penelope turned off the lights and took Josie's hand to take her to bed.

''I have these plates and glasses on the table… I have to take them to kitchen.''

''It can wait… You have something better to do?''

''Like what?''

''Me, Miss Saltzman.''

''I agree Miss Park.''

They kissed and Penelope broke the kiss…

''Just so you know… You are not off the hook for the conversation we had before…And I still think you have to talk to Hope… Sex is not going to distract me…''

''Fine! Can we go back to sex now? Serous topics can wait….''

''Ok, but I am not letting this slide.''

''Fine Penelope… Just don't ruin the moment.''

Josie was asleep, but Penelope couldn't. She put on Josie's robe and went to the living room. She took the diary and continued randomly opening pages and reading things. She opened to the day Hope proposed to Josie. It was eight months before she came back to life and Penelope was curious where was Josie's mind and maybe even heart when it all took place.

 _Hope proposed to me in New York. She took me there under excuse that it is recruiting trip. She arranged everything. Ride through the Central park in the horse carriage, diner in a nice restaurant and ring in my desert. I was surprised by entire night and how everything happened. I had to say yes. All eyes in the restaurant were on us and I didn't want to humiliate her with no in front of so many people. The moment I said yes, my heart sunk. I felt like I cheated on Penelope and betrayed some of our dreams. I know that she is dead, but in my heart she is as alive as always. Hope and I made love and as soon as she was asleep I went to the bathroom and cried like a baby. I got beautiful ring, but somehow…it was not P's emerald. The ring I wanted on my finger for the rest of my days was around my neck and I knew I would never have it on my finger. Part of me died again that night… As time went by, I was worse than before… Like every year without P in my life was harder than the previous one… Hope wanted kids, family, marriage…all the things I wanted with P and saying those words to me…. It was hard to listen… I was angry at her for wanting slice of my dream… I wanted P's baby to be growing inside of me… I wanted her ring on my finger, I wanted us to pick venue for the wedding… I wanted so many things that I would never have. My parents were over the Moon with the news. Hope immediately after I said yes, posted picture of the ring on my finger with caption she said yes… I did say yes, but inside I screamed no. That was the night I started thinking about death again… After paying attention on the date of the proposal, I realized it was the same date Penelope told me she loved me for the first time…many years ago… I remember that day like it was yesterday…It was so simple, ordinary, but perfect… It was in the library… Penelope and I were sitting on the floor and taking notes. She just gave me one of her magical smiles and said I love you Jojo. My heart jumped… It was one of the best days ever…and now that was also ''taken'' from us by the proposal. I know it was not done on purpose, but I felt a bit angry. I was first angry at Hope and then at myself… But I know it's not Hope's fault… I have to find the way to end this when we get home. I can't marry her… I shouldn't marry her…or anyone… How can she marry me? I don't bring luck to anyone?! Only person I ever loved was dead because of me and someone who loves me so much will be miserable if I stay… I have to talk to her and return the ring… But how should I do it? What is the best way to end it? Those pills in my purse now look like best solution… Going to sleep and never waking up… I can't wait for the day I will never wake up again. I hate this emptiness and hollow place inside of me. I hate that I can't tell anyone how I really feel… No one would understand… No one will have time to listen…_

Penelope wiped her eyes and flipped to some of the next pages.

 _Hope came home crying. One of our students killed herself. She was heartbroken over that girl. Inna was amazing, smart, and witty and one of the people I could never imagine taking her own life. I joined Hope in the main hall where she and my dad gave speeches and talked to students about death and teen suicide and depression. I stood in the corner of the room and watched them and students. Everyone was sad. I watched students. Almost all of them cried or tried to prevent tears from falling. Everyone was sad and all I felt was jealousy. I was jealous because she was dead… She finally had her peace. It would take some time for kids to recover from this shock. Emma will have so much work. I feel sorry for her. School recovering from this would be something that will take time._

 _MG called. He is coming to Hope's birthday. I will finally have someone to talk to…if we ever get some alone time. He knows we are engaged, but he didn't tell me what he really thinks about this all. We didn't have any alone time. When we were alone, he took a chance to tell me he is still in love with Lizzie, but he got used to the fact she was married._

Penelope flipped to the next date.

 _I had a dream about Penelope again. She said she loved me and she forgives me for being engaged and moving on… I tried to explain to her that I didn't. I tried to tell her I am still stuck in the same place she left me at on the night she died. I kissed her… She kissed back… We made love in my dream. It was so real to me…I almost felt her. When I woke up i was relived Hope was not in bed. Her side of the bed was empty and it looked like she didn't' even come to bed. I got out of the bed and found Hope asleep in the living room on the sofa asleep with bunch of papers on her. I woke her up and got her to bed. I felt a bit guilty of having a sex dream of another woman in our bed so made her pancakes with blueberries in the morning. She loved them, but I still didn't wash away my guilt. It felt like Penelope was even more present in me since that dream. I really missed her._

 _Dad kept asking me what would I pick if I had only one wish. I didn't dare say Penelope's name. It started to feel weird saying her name in front of my family… It made me feel like I was hallucinating her and my entire family agreed on ignoring she ever existed or anything. It felt like they erased her from their minds and only person remembering her was I. It felt like I was going mad. Like I was imagining her…like I am the only one acknowledging she existed… But it made them happy… forgetting about her made them all happy. Life was good now… No merge…Lizzie was married, I was engaged… and it was all in the past… Bad thing is that I felt like that past is the only place I can breathe._

Penelope got up from the sofa and went for Josie's bourbon. She opened the bottle and poured herself a drink. She was really fucked up… She had no idea Josie was that bad. She finished most of the journal until Josie woke up… Along with the journal, she was almost done with Josie's bourbon. Josie woke up to an empty bed. She guessed Penelope was still there because her robe was not at the bottom of the bed. She went into her bathroom and took Penelope's robe. She loved how it smelled like her. It made her feel safe and happy…incredibly happy. She got out of the room and went to find Penelope. She was surprised when she found her on the sofa with her journal and drink.

''I didn't like waking up to an emtpty bed.''

''I had some late reading to do…''

Josie looked at the table with almost empty bottle and back at Penelope who had journal in her lap now.

''Oh…''

''Yes, oh…''

''I am worried Jojo..''

''I am fine now.''

''Are you?''

''Yes, I promise.''

''Ok. Jojo… I believe you.''

She didn't believe her, but she just nodded. She had to do something for Josie.


End file.
